"The world was never designed to be safe. That’s not its job. Never was.”
Quote from Elizabeth Gilbert's Letter From Love this week.
Hello Beautifuls!
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It is all of you who are making this community what it is.
I am thrilled you are here. Your love and support mean the world to me. 🙏
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It’s also a really wonderful thing for exposure when another Substack author recommends Hello Beautifuls. Thank you so much,
. She is also our newest paid subscriber!I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but I’m changing how frequently I post full essays here on Hello Beautifuls.
I loved what I did a couple of weeks ago, sharing some bits and pieces of things that moved me or made me laugh recently.
So here are some things that I love, that I didn’t create. I hope you enjoy.
A quote that really got me today, from Joseph Campbell:
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
I’ve been struggling with how to reconcile how wonderful my interior life is with how truly well and f$*#ed the external world seems to be right now.
I’ve decided one way to combat this is to go looking for the good. Or at least pay 99% of my attention to life itself, right in front of me, and only 1% to what is going on in the world that I cannot control.
This quote seems to be speaking specifically to us about all the concrete plans we have: college, a good job, marriage, kids, all the thing we grew up thinking would make us feel safe and happy, fulfilled.
But I think it’s also talking about the plans we had for a perfect world, where people weren’t marginalized or afraid, where dictators don’t do insane acts against whole groups of humans. Where we recognize that the earth and everything about it is sacred, including ourselves.
In
’s Letter From Love this past Sunday (it’s like a church where the only message is how much we are loved) said this, “The world as you perceive it with your senses was never designed to be safe. That’s not its job. Never was.”This soft, smooth stone of wisdom has sunk into my heart this week. The world was never meant to be safe. If that’s true, and I think it is, then why am I trying so hard to make it so? To make myself safe in it? I know the answer, this is more a rhetorical question than a concrete one. I had trauma, lots of it, when I was young and also when I was old and so, my friend, I’m sure, have you.
And also, we can work towards not being so scared. And I believe the way to do that is to notice.
To notice the bright green grass outside my window and how it has soaked up the frequent rains this summer and shows us what it can do with a little love.
To notice the fishes multiplying in the seasonal creek, even though it will dry out at some point. Even though they all may not make it through the summer, they still spawn, the still swim, the still bite at my legs and toes if I stand in their underwater house for too long.
To notice the people around us who love us and nurture us and bring us the Band Aid and kiss the wound, even though they know it doesn’t really help, but know somehow that also it does.
So for me, this quote speaks to all the ways in which I hold myself back by shoulds or coulds or woulds and it speaks to letting go of thinking I can change the world, so that maybe I can change just the little pool I swim in, and by change, I mean love it more.
Note: The lead in to this quote by EG is also pretty great, if you want to read her whole letter.
That last little bit reminded me of a poem by Shel Silverstein published in 1974. I’m sure I read it for the first time when I was about six. This poem always but always gives me chills of the best kind, and I had the honor to recite it on stage at the Wisdom 2.0 conference in San Francisco several years back. As my mom would say, “What a thrill!”
Here you go, you’re welcome.
Listen To The MUSTN'TS
by Shel Silverstein
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WONT'S
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be
And just in writing this piece for you, I discovered the most amazing thing! I feel like Joseph Campbell’s advice is working already. Apparently Shel recorded himself reading his whole collection Where the Sidewalk Ends. I am so delighted, I must rush out and buy this as soon as I’m done writing to you.
Here it is, in case you want to hear it read by the author. But of course you do.
If you missed my post last week on clothes and dressing for others and ourselves and how our essence, our ALIVENESS as
put it, is what really makes us attractive—to ourselves and to others. You can join in the conversation here.Which brings me to the other thing I wanted to share that came out of last week’s post. Besides clothes, I wrote about body image and getting older, and the conversations around this in the comments were beautiful and nourishing and I had so much fun. Thank you for everyone who joined in:
, , , , , , , , , and .I was inspired by
’s bravery in saying something that felt like a “dangerous thing,” to share this next bit.During the time in which I was writing the piece, I was also watching “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande,” a 2022 movie starring Emma Thompson. This movie really got me, especially the stunning last scene. No spoilers here, but if you find it a little intense, like I did, keep going, because the end is worth it. I will put a little warning here: there is nudity, there is vulnerability, there are sex scenes.
There is also sweetness and misguided actions and redemption, things I look for in my entertainment. And I think it’s a beautiful, honest, raw representation of how we think about our bodies, about wanting what (or who) we want (this was also a theme last week), and about allowing ourselves to love ourselves, ever flawed and human and beautiful.
As Thompson said in an interview about the movie, “We’re not good at accepting our bodies, particularly women whose status is related to body image.”
If you haven’t seen it, don’t read any reviews or google it before you watch. Knowing some of the nuances of the movie might lessen it’s impact as you experience it.
Also, if you find the content upsetting or rude or just not your cup of tea, that’s is absolutely okay. I am not advising that everyone should watch this movie, however, if you are a person who is okay with sex scenes and vulnerability and human stumbling, it’s got something to say and it says it well.
And, because you all help me feel brave and safe here, I want to tell you that I’ve almost deleted the whole bit on this movie at least three times, because I don’t want to offend anyone. I keep thinking, people will know I watched this movie and liked it, loved it even. And then I remember what I’m always telling my clients. That it’s okay if someone doesn’t like it. If we’re being honest and true to ourselves, while also being kind, that’s the best we can do. And who I am was moved deeply by this movie.
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. It’s one of my most favorite things to be here with you in this space. Come on in, the water’s fine.
xoxox
j
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And because I want to leave you with something beautiful.
These little Belle Chimes are hand thrown and pinched by one of my favorite ceramicists, Diana Fayt who works out of the Northern California Sierra Nevada Foothills. I think you can feel their energy in her art.
Loved this movie too!
PS: “I’ve decided one way to combat this is to go looking for the good. Or at least pay 99% of my attention to life itself, right in front of me, and only 1% to what is going on in the world that I cannot control.” THIS. YES. SAME. 💕