Grace is such a big, beautiful, expansive thing and your words got me thinking about where it’s shown up for me lately. I was hastily scribbling some morning pages as my toddler woke up from his nap and I realized that I’ve written more in the last six months than I have possibly ever. More consistently anyways. But, much of it hasn’t been ready or worthy of sharing with a wider audience, and sometimes this can leave me feeling like I’m not writing enough. But today I decided it’s time to show myself the grace I show others and recognize that I’m in a season of deep motherhood, a brand new house and all that comes with it, a desire to read voraciously (and a massive TBR collection) and no energy past 9 pm. This is a season of dichotomies, and “yes and”. Thank you for setting in stone the thoughts I had earlier today 🫶🏻
Oh Kezia, I love this, "show myself the grace I show others and recognize that I’m in a season of deep motherhood" that is so beautiful. Not just the motherhood or the season of it, but that you're in a _deep_ season and you're giving yourself grace to be there and to be full of the juxtapositions of life - it's always and, isn't it? Joy and grief, beauty and ugliness, grace and blahness, even sometimes (and often it seems) within the same experience.
I so get this, "feeling like I’m not writing enough" when it's not ready to be shared, even if we're writing a lot. There's such pressure to write something that's sharable, when really, the writing, the being with ourselves, the processing that happens when we write is really the whole thing. It's life, in a way, isn't it?
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, they're helping me expand my heart and let in even more grace for myself. I love how that happens.
I learned about grace when my skinny, pale, and bald 8-year-old daughter was living long-term in hospital during cancer treatment. There was a day late in the journey when her blood pressure plummeted-- it was a borderline life-threatening emergency. The doctors, who visited often on this day (and hardly at all on less eventful days), held the presence of pure love as they peered at me over their masks, were grace. Their patience with me, was grace. My daughter's body, healing and recovering, was grace. Grace is the beauty found at the bottom of despair. It carries with it a higher order, a tangential light of a more intelligent frequency, seeing us through unimaginable circumstances. My daughter is now 17 and healthy as all getup, but grace still follows me, still moves me and carries me. Grace is that "something extra" behind synchronicity and miracles. To me, to know grace is to know God (or Spirit, or the Universe) a little better. I am so grateful for this!
Oh this just made me cry. How beautifully you describe the grace within such a heart wrenching and terrifying experience.
and this, Stephanie, wow, "Grace is the beauty found at the bottom of despair. It carries with it a higher order, a tangential light of a more intelligent frequency, seeing us through unimaginable circumstances."
Grace is the extra in synchronicity and miracles. This is all so so so yummy and gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing such a powerful story with such a luminous description of grace. 🙏❤️❤️❤️
Wow Stephanie, this is the best possible example of that 'something extra'. Thank you for sharing that your daughter is doing so well and that grace still follows you both (of course it does, how awesome!)
This is the most beautiful definition Ive ever come upon for Grace:
“Grace is the beauty found at the bottom of despair. It carries with it a higher order, a tangential light of a more intelligent frequency, seeing us through unimaginable circumstances.”
Thank you for sharing it with us; for sharing your daughter’s story. I am so grateful for the Grace that carried you & most especially your Miracle.✨
I was a cancer nurse for a decade & believe that time, those rooms, the souls whose paths I crossed- were sacred.
There were moments I could viscerally feel the energetic divinity of Love’s radiant power.
As a mother, I’ve also been on the receiving end of Grace for myself & my child as well.
The despair, the unimaginable circumstances- the sense of being “carried & moved” somehow- thank you for these words. Xoxxo
This, "I was a cancer nurse for a decade & believe that time, those rooms, the souls whose paths I crossed- were sacred." Yes!
And this, "I could viscerally feel the energetic divinity of Love’s radiant power." I was with my husbands sister (we did not know each other well so I was not grieving) in her last few hours and it was one of the most sacred and full of love experiences of my life. I could FEEL the love waiting for her calling her home. I cried, but it was because of the beauty, because of the love. It made me want to do work with the dying, hospice or doula-ing.
Unless we are nurses or in the death care field, we get so little chance in this culture to feel that particular sacredness and honor it.
Thank you so much for your reflection and insight. I am so glad that, as an insider, you too got to feel the sacredness and grace. For as much as it all sucks, there is so much divinity and grace and love within those walls. One thing that became obvious to me early on in our journey, was that the staff in a pediatric oncolgy unit is not there by acciedent; they are there because of a calling… and that adds to the impact they are making on the patients and their families. It was truly a unique and special environment in that way. Thank you again for your kind words and acknowledgment.
I love reading the backstory behind why someone didn't post, as a post. It's like watching that belly softening, which is so much more helpful than just being told to do it. Thank you!
Oh Kelly, this is such a beautiful observation. Thank you so much for sharing it. It's one of the magical things about this space, that I feel safe enough to write and share things like this, that aren't perfect or finished or even a thing, but just me humaning and sharing a little bit of it. It's so wonderful (and full of grace!) when it resonates with others. 🫶
Lovely to imagine you floating despite the work overload! As for Grace, mom described “ the ministry of failure “ as doing things imperfectly so others know it is ok to be human. Which is harder than it sounds.
The ministry of failure. Oh my, Emily. That is so gorgeous. Imperfection in motion as an invitation to others.
So so so hard. ❤️
Yay for floating! It's funny that I have some sense of laziness or like what if people knew? that I worked outside half the day, but honestly I work _better_ out there most of the time. I'm more calm and clear. I need space and sunlight and fresh air so much - deep down, I'm a tree. ;) And then the ability to take a 10min break and just be in water. I was less tired and more productive today than most days just sitting in my office.
Grace is THE most beautiful thing. Here are a few of my words from a guest essay I wrote awhile ago:
I depend on this sacred unknown, a peace greater than my human heart and mind can grasp. I carry it deep in my cells and hope it spills over into everything I do. It influences me in ways I cannot explain and is available to me if I turn towards it.
Donna, thank you thank you for sharing this. Trust, exploration, knowing. The rhythm of grace is right there in this piece - this snippet a poem if you broke the lines differently. So much grace in your words.
Grace IS the most beautiful thing. I think because it is so ephemeral, so indescribable, and yet so knowable. We all KNOW grace when we feel it. It's a lot like describing god or the universe, yes?
I think so, yes. So many words for the indescribable, but as you said we know it when we feel it. Today's post was perfect and I applaud you for just putting out there what was going on for you.
Thank you so much for that. I really wanted to connect, and until that moment of grace, I didn't know how I would do it this week, because I didn't have anything finished, and then, well, grace. ;) And this came out and I'm just floored and moved by how much it resonated.
I really love that that universe keeps showing me that I/we don't have to be perfect, we just need to show up with our hearts.
Hi friend, I loved this so much. "Grace is when your belly softens and you feel like you could love yourself as much as you love your dog, even if just for a moment." This is my favorite description. Thank you! You quoted two of my faves, Anne Lamott and Father Greg Boyle and that essay touched my heart since I've been divorced twice. One thing about grace that I've found, it's easier for me to extend grace, when I think about how much grace has been extended to me. Thank you again for this, Jocelyn.
Friend, you always have such a way with words and saying it plain and simple,"it's easier for me to extend grace, when I think about how much grace has been extended to me." That just got me. so much grace has been extended to me from so many people, from the universe, from reading other people's words. Oh so yummy.
Greg Boyle. I just cannot come up with words, ever, to describe how he touches my soul with his work and his stories and his beliefs about humans and their innate worth and worthiness of grace and love. That man teaches me how to be a better human. And Anne Lamott got me through some very dark days after my divorce. It felt like sometimes her slightly, beautifully unhinged mind, full also of grace and wit and _presence_ knew exactly how I was feeling and what to say to make me feel not quite so alone or bad or terrible. There are many writers who have been a balm to me, but she was so perfect at such a painful time in my life, she became a benchmark for me of sorts. When I write, I think of how much her writing helped me and I want to do that for others.
Speaking of plain and simple and beautiful writing. Do you read Kent Haruf? Oh my. That man and his sparse, clean, heartbreaking prose.
Oh, I echo your sentiments on both Greg and Anne. I feel very privileged to have attended live talks from them both. What an experience. Interesting, I was recovering from my divorce when a friend introduced me to her writing. So, so insightful. I’m going to have to check out Kent Haruf…thank you for the intro.
Wow! Another friend said she's heard Greg speak too. I think I must find a way to do this soon. Where/when did you hear him? How? That is sooo interesting you found Anne when recovering from your divorce -- I love that parallel in our lives.
Oh I think you will truly appreciate and love Kent's work. Tell me what you think! He only has a few novels but they are the kind I can read over and over. If you want a recommendation, start with Plainsong. It's the first of a series of three, though they could be read independently.
Mmm what a relief to read how few people can describe grace, yet know it enough to want it.
I love your physical description; yes I feel this too, and often I’ve reminded myself to soften my belly to bring more surrender, but now you say it, I think it was grace I was ushering in all along.
‘Wants’ - wow that’s a rich piece.
I’m feeling grace swirling around me now, like a call for my attention to bring it to my intention.
Grace swirling around you. Mmmm. I've got yummy goosebumps. The softening of our bellies. Wow, that's a whole essay right there. Just in this past few months have I learned to be able to do that within my body, to really let my belly be soft throughout my day, instead of constantly pulling in and clenching it. I love how you equate it to surrender, which it is and which it feels like, and in such a powerful way. ❤️
These days I’m filled with yearning to be an effective citizen who takes meaningful action—and also gives myself the grace to not burn out on it all. I’m working on it. Love you, Jocelyn, and your posts ♥️
Hi Monika! I've been thinking about you lately and I'm so glad to see you here. Yes! Me too. I love how you put this, "an effective citizen who takes meaningful action." I've signed up for a local group to help get people registered and know where to vote. I've been unable to go to any meetings this week, and you just showed me that I can give myself some grace around that, instead of just pushing it aside and feeling bad about it.
thank you for sharing that. and for the kinds words. 🙏 So much love right back to you. ❤️❤️
Well, you can count these wins: Just by mentioning it, you got me off my duff before my shower this morning to finally register for my provincial election happening in British Columbia on Oct. 19. And then I got my husband to register over breakfast. So that’s 2 votes to push back on the rise of extremism in North America ♥️🗳️🗳️♥️
Maybe as writers, we can help uphold democracy by playing to our strengths instead of trying to go to all the meetings (or start a side-hustle non-profit like I was ludicrously thinking of doing 😂)
As for “an effective citizen who takes meaningful action”, I borrowed and reassembled words from that glorious Grace Paley piece. So thanks for that, too!
OH WOW! How fantastic! Look at you doing the thing. I'm so impressed and inspired and also grateful. Thank you for doing that work and making something tangible in the world towards grace and kindness!
🤣a side-hustle non-profit. because non profits are known for running efficiently and smoothly with very little work. ;)
oh yes! you did! (borrowed and reassembled) I recognize it now. How fabulous.
and yes yes yes to this, my love, "Maybe as writers, we can help uphold democracy by playing to our strengths instead of trying to go to all the meetings"
I teared up thinking about your grieve listening to you read MO to get after a long, hard shift. There's a whole essay waiting to be written right there, as well! And I do look forward to this budding peice about your grandmother- I can see you sitting beside her, tee shirt pressed against housedress, the conversation swirling. Just the BEST!
Mmmmm. Yes! I loved being with her. Just loved it. She died when I was 21 and I long to have been able to know her as an older woman.
I think you're right on the essay too about my friend. I tell her all the time we should write a book about her nursing stories. There is so much there and she is such a healer, the way she interacts with her patients, the love she shows them, brings me to tears all the time.
"...grace is glitter Modge Podge for our souls." ✨️🙌 Well, thanks for that delightful little nugget, Jocelyn! And that essay by Grace (Grace!) was exquisite and so raw. I also love anything that Mary Oliver and Anne Lamott have to say about the subject (or any subject, really.) Today I give Grace to myself for losing my cool with the Home Depot service representative- I was much nicer when I called back later, after sitting on my porch swing and having a bit of ice cream. Really, it must be hard to talk to angry or disappointed people all the time. 😂
Kendall, I'm chuckling out loud. ;) thank you! I wasn't sure if enough people would know what Modge Podge was, but it came out like that and I liked it, so I went with it.
That essay by GP just gets me every time. Every single word is precise and has a place. She's such a master, I just love her. And me too on AL and MO. I've been reading through a compilation of Mary's poems, I leave voice messages for my friend who's a night nurse and I read her poems, so she hears them on her way home from her shift. Who better to carry you away from sickness and back into the world than Mary Oliver?
And THANK YOU! 🫶 for sharing your story. I could feel you on the porch swing with your ice cream, rocking and tasting. I LOVE porch swings. When I would visit my grandma in Missouri in the summers, we would sit on the porch swing, her in her housedress, me in probably shorts and a t. I wish I could hear what we talked about. There's healing in porch swings.
And, Miss Kendall -- you just gave me the subject that's been wanting to be written about and I didn't even know it! it's the thing I've been trying to write all week and know I feel it's my grandma who wants to have a story told. Thank you!! 🙏❤️❤️
You are so welcome. I always thought of her writing style as graceful - it seems like she just came up with these lines out of thin air, like "making a narrow remark which, like a plumber’s snake, could work its way through the ear down the throat, half-way to my heart. He would then disappear, leaving me choking with equipment."
But I didn't realize, at least consciously, until today, that the essay is also about grace. I have a feeling there was some grace at work, because she, and this piece, came to mind immediately when I thought to write about grace today.
🙏
Oh! Also, thank you for showing me some grace today. ;)
For all of this-I pulled a muscle walking in the woods this morning, forcing a Real Slow down & surrender to my body. I’ve finally come round to yielding to its needs, & the symbolism.
This afforded me time with all of the stunning comments your piece generated here: vulnerable shares, new authors, wise & profound expansions on what Grace is, offers, invokes, invites… & much more- such a treasure of richness.
I want to call out your words- so resonant for me as I try on patience with myself:
“There's such pressure to write something that's sharable, when really, the writing, the being with ourselves, the processing that happens when we write is really the whole thing. It's life, in a way, isn't it?”
It IS Life!!! The Being & the Processing!!! And it also hit me that I Am writing!! It counts that I write in the comments all the time- share my thoughts, dialogue with others and so on. And isn’t this what I want from something I’d post on my own Substack anyway? 🤗
Of course I still aim to, but lowering the stakes and the self-flagellating.
I Also write scribble pages & poems & other musings- so perhaps I loosen my grip on what writing ‘counts?’ 🤔😂
Ohmygosh, yes! so much yes! to loosening our grip on which writing counts? I have had the same thoughts, that oh, I didn't write enough today, but I spent an hour reading and writing comments and being in community with other writers and absorbing their words and putting my own down. I have come to allow myself that that too is part of the writing process. As much as we're all introverts, the writing doesn't actually happen in a vacuum.
And oh, the pulled muscle. How annoying at first and then what a gift. I often have a hard time not allowing my body to be what or how it is. I wish I were stronger, could run father and faster, if you read the post on yoga, you know I wish I had a very strong core lol. And yet, there is so much beauty and wisdom in the process, in being with ourselves where we are. You said it so beautifully here, "...surrender to my body. I’ve finally come round to yielding to its needs, & the symbolism."
And thank you for calling out those particular words. They came to me as I wrote them and I though, oh yes. That's truth right there.
here's to the being and the processing and letting go a little of the shoulds.
so much love and allowance and grace to you! xoxoxo
This was So Lovely Jocelyn!! And Just perfect timing for me today. And well, really any and every day, because when is it ever a bad day to soften our bellies and extend ourselves- and subsequently the world-Grace? (Incidentally my Gramma’s name)
I am not always so good at the former, & tend to have such an active monkey mind keeping tabs on All my shortcomings, ‘shoulda but didn’t’s’ & otherwise just making me feel like I’ve failed before I’ve even started.
This Partially eclipsed Pices Super Full Moon season has me aiming to shed all that isn’t serving-& perhaps this opens More space for inviting Grace?✨
Thank you so much and ohmygosh yes, Colleen. This, "such an active monkey mind keeping tabs on All my shortcomings, ‘shoulda but didn’t’s’ & otherwise just making me feel like I’ve failed before I’ve even started."
And also yes to grace all the time, every day! Like Mingyur Rinpoche says, you can meditate anytime anywhere - we can invite grace in anytime anywhere. I love this video of him talking about monkey mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PIabPUa2y4
I love that your Gramma's name is Grace and also that you call her gramma, not grandma, I did too. ❤️❤️❤️
Grace is such a big, beautiful, expansive thing and your words got me thinking about where it’s shown up for me lately. I was hastily scribbling some morning pages as my toddler woke up from his nap and I realized that I’ve written more in the last six months than I have possibly ever. More consistently anyways. But, much of it hasn’t been ready or worthy of sharing with a wider audience, and sometimes this can leave me feeling like I’m not writing enough. But today I decided it’s time to show myself the grace I show others and recognize that I’m in a season of deep motherhood, a brand new house and all that comes with it, a desire to read voraciously (and a massive TBR collection) and no energy past 9 pm. This is a season of dichotomies, and “yes and”. Thank you for setting in stone the thoughts I had earlier today 🫶🏻
Oh Kezia, I love this, "show myself the grace I show others and recognize that I’m in a season of deep motherhood" that is so beautiful. Not just the motherhood or the season of it, but that you're in a _deep_ season and you're giving yourself grace to be there and to be full of the juxtapositions of life - it's always and, isn't it? Joy and grief, beauty and ugliness, grace and blahness, even sometimes (and often it seems) within the same experience.
I so get this, "feeling like I’m not writing enough" when it's not ready to be shared, even if we're writing a lot. There's such pressure to write something that's sharable, when really, the writing, the being with ourselves, the processing that happens when we write is really the whole thing. It's life, in a way, isn't it?
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, they're helping me expand my heart and let in even more grace for myself. I love how that happens.
xoxoxo✨❤️✨
I learned about grace when my skinny, pale, and bald 8-year-old daughter was living long-term in hospital during cancer treatment. There was a day late in the journey when her blood pressure plummeted-- it was a borderline life-threatening emergency. The doctors, who visited often on this day (and hardly at all on less eventful days), held the presence of pure love as they peered at me over their masks, were grace. Their patience with me, was grace. My daughter's body, healing and recovering, was grace. Grace is the beauty found at the bottom of despair. It carries with it a higher order, a tangential light of a more intelligent frequency, seeing us through unimaginable circumstances. My daughter is now 17 and healthy as all getup, but grace still follows me, still moves me and carries me. Grace is that "something extra" behind synchronicity and miracles. To me, to know grace is to know God (or Spirit, or the Universe) a little better. I am so grateful for this!
Oh this just made me cry. How beautifully you describe the grace within such a heart wrenching and terrifying experience.
and this, Stephanie, wow, "Grace is the beauty found at the bottom of despair. It carries with it a higher order, a tangential light of a more intelligent frequency, seeing us through unimaginable circumstances."
Grace is the extra in synchronicity and miracles. This is all so so so yummy and gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing such a powerful story with such a luminous description of grace. 🙏❤️❤️❤️
Jocelyn thank you! ❤️🙏🏼🦋
Wow Stephanie, this is the best possible example of that 'something extra'. Thank you for sharing that your daughter is doing so well and that grace still follows you both (of course it does, how awesome!)
Yes!
This is the most beautiful definition Ive ever come upon for Grace:
“Grace is the beauty found at the bottom of despair. It carries with it a higher order, a tangential light of a more intelligent frequency, seeing us through unimaginable circumstances.”
Thank you for sharing it with us; for sharing your daughter’s story. I am so grateful for the Grace that carried you & most especially your Miracle.✨
I was a cancer nurse for a decade & believe that time, those rooms, the souls whose paths I crossed- were sacred.
There were moments I could viscerally feel the energetic divinity of Love’s radiant power.
As a mother, I’ve also been on the receiving end of Grace for myself & my child as well.
The despair, the unimaginable circumstances- the sense of being “carried & moved” somehow- thank you for these words. Xoxxo
This, "I was a cancer nurse for a decade & believe that time, those rooms, the souls whose paths I crossed- were sacred." Yes!
And this, "I could viscerally feel the energetic divinity of Love’s radiant power." I was with my husbands sister (we did not know each other well so I was not grieving) in her last few hours and it was one of the most sacred and full of love experiences of my life. I could FEEL the love waiting for her calling her home. I cried, but it was because of the beauty, because of the love. It made me want to do work with the dying, hospice or doula-ing.
Unless we are nurses or in the death care field, we get so little chance in this culture to feel that particular sacredness and honor it.
thank you for this! xo
Hi Colleen,
Thank you so much for your reflection and insight. I am so glad that, as an insider, you too got to feel the sacredness and grace. For as much as it all sucks, there is so much divinity and grace and love within those walls. One thing that became obvious to me early on in our journey, was that the staff in a pediatric oncolgy unit is not there by acciedent; they are there because of a calling… and that adds to the impact they are making on the patients and their families. It was truly a unique and special environment in that way. Thank you again for your kind words and acknowledgment.
Divinity and grace and sacredness. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for inspiring them. ♥️✨
I love reading the backstory behind why someone didn't post, as a post. It's like watching that belly softening, which is so much more helpful than just being told to do it. Thank you!
Oh Kelly, this is such a beautiful observation. Thank you so much for sharing it. It's one of the magical things about this space, that I feel safe enough to write and share things like this, that aren't perfect or finished or even a thing, but just me humaning and sharing a little bit of it. It's so wonderful (and full of grace!) when it resonates with others. 🫶
Agreed. I love the freedom here to be in process!
Yes!!
Lovely to imagine you floating despite the work overload! As for Grace, mom described “ the ministry of failure “ as doing things imperfectly so others know it is ok to be human. Which is harder than it sounds.
The ministry of failure. Oh my, Emily. That is so gorgeous. Imperfection in motion as an invitation to others.
So so so hard. ❤️
Yay for floating! It's funny that I have some sense of laziness or like what if people knew? that I worked outside half the day, but honestly I work _better_ out there most of the time. I'm more calm and clear. I need space and sunlight and fresh air so much - deep down, I'm a tree. ;) And then the ability to take a 10min break and just be in water. I was less tired and more productive today than most days just sitting in my office.
I loved picturing Jocelyn floating too!
Made me smile!!!
Grace is THE most beautiful thing. Here are a few of my words from a guest essay I wrote awhile ago:
I depend on this sacred unknown, a peace greater than my human heart and mind can grasp. I carry it deep in my cells and hope it spills over into everything I do. It influences me in ways I cannot explain and is available to me if I turn towards it.
It lands in my heart in the form of trust.
It lands in my mind in the form of exploration.
It lands in my gut in the form of knowing.
Donna, thank you thank you for sharing this. Trust, exploration, knowing. The rhythm of grace is right there in this piece - this snippet a poem if you broke the lines differently. So much grace in your words.
Grace IS the most beautiful thing. I think because it is so ephemeral, so indescribable, and yet so knowable. We all KNOW grace when we feel it. It's a lot like describing god or the universe, yes?
I think so, yes. So many words for the indescribable, but as you said we know it when we feel it. Today's post was perfect and I applaud you for just putting out there what was going on for you.
Thank you so much for that. I really wanted to connect, and until that moment of grace, I didn't know how I would do it this week, because I didn't have anything finished, and then, well, grace. ;) And this came out and I'm just floored and moved by how much it resonated.
I really love that that universe keeps showing me that I/we don't have to be perfect, we just need to show up with our hearts.
xxo
Hi friend, I loved this so much. "Grace is when your belly softens and you feel like you could love yourself as much as you love your dog, even if just for a moment." This is my favorite description. Thank you! You quoted two of my faves, Anne Lamott and Father Greg Boyle and that essay touched my heart since I've been divorced twice. One thing about grace that I've found, it's easier for me to extend grace, when I think about how much grace has been extended to me. Thank you again for this, Jocelyn.
Friend, you always have such a way with words and saying it plain and simple,"it's easier for me to extend grace, when I think about how much grace has been extended to me." That just got me. so much grace has been extended to me from so many people, from the universe, from reading other people's words. Oh so yummy.
Greg Boyle. I just cannot come up with words, ever, to describe how he touches my soul with his work and his stories and his beliefs about humans and their innate worth and worthiness of grace and love. That man teaches me how to be a better human. And Anne Lamott got me through some very dark days after my divorce. It felt like sometimes her slightly, beautifully unhinged mind, full also of grace and wit and _presence_ knew exactly how I was feeling and what to say to make me feel not quite so alone or bad or terrible. There are many writers who have been a balm to me, but she was so perfect at such a painful time in my life, she became a benchmark for me of sorts. When I write, I think of how much her writing helped me and I want to do that for others.
Speaking of plain and simple and beautiful writing. Do you read Kent Haruf? Oh my. That man and his sparse, clean, heartbreaking prose.
Oh, I echo your sentiments on both Greg and Anne. I feel very privileged to have attended live talks from them both. What an experience. Interesting, I was recovering from my divorce when a friend introduced me to her writing. So, so insightful. I’m going to have to check out Kent Haruf…thank you for the intro.
Wow! Another friend said she's heard Greg speak too. I think I must find a way to do this soon. Where/when did you hear him? How? That is sooo interesting you found Anne when recovering from your divorce -- I love that parallel in our lives.
Oh I think you will truly appreciate and love Kent's work. Tell me what you think! He only has a few novels but they are the kind I can read over and over. If you want a recommendation, start with Plainsong. It's the first of a series of three, though they could be read independently.
🙏✨
Since I live in Altadena, I saw them both in Pasadena. I saw Anne at All Saints Church and Greg at the main library. I would love to hear them again.
Mmm what a relief to read how few people can describe grace, yet know it enough to want it.
I love your physical description; yes I feel this too, and often I’ve reminded myself to soften my belly to bring more surrender, but now you say it, I think it was grace I was ushering in all along.
‘Wants’ - wow that’s a rich piece.
I’m feeling grace swirling around me now, like a call for my attention to bring it to my intention.
💜
Grace swirling around you. Mmmm. I've got yummy goosebumps. The softening of our bellies. Wow, that's a whole essay right there. Just in this past few months have I learned to be able to do that within my body, to really let my belly be soft throughout my day, instead of constantly pulling in and clenching it. I love how you equate it to surrender, which it is and which it feels like, and in such a powerful way. ❤️
I just wrote a ‘shitty first draft’ poem about grace, after reading your post 🙏🏽
ohmygosh I LOVE this so much! combining AL and grace in your own work. wheee!
Please let me know when you are ready to share it. ❤️
I Will indeed! X
These days I’m filled with yearning to be an effective citizen who takes meaningful action—and also gives myself the grace to not burn out on it all. I’m working on it. Love you, Jocelyn, and your posts ♥️
Hi Monika! I've been thinking about you lately and I'm so glad to see you here. Yes! Me too. I love how you put this, "an effective citizen who takes meaningful action." I've signed up for a local group to help get people registered and know where to vote. I've been unable to go to any meetings this week, and you just showed me that I can give myself some grace around that, instead of just pushing it aside and feeling bad about it.
thank you for sharing that. and for the kinds words. 🙏 So much love right back to you. ❤️❤️
Well, you can count these wins: Just by mentioning it, you got me off my duff before my shower this morning to finally register for my provincial election happening in British Columbia on Oct. 19. And then I got my husband to register over breakfast. So that’s 2 votes to push back on the rise of extremism in North America ♥️🗳️🗳️♥️
Maybe as writers, we can help uphold democracy by playing to our strengths instead of trying to go to all the meetings (or start a side-hustle non-profit like I was ludicrously thinking of doing 😂)
As for “an effective citizen who takes meaningful action”, I borrowed and reassembled words from that glorious Grace Paley piece. So thanks for that, too!
OH WOW! How fantastic! Look at you doing the thing. I'm so impressed and inspired and also grateful. Thank you for doing that work and making something tangible in the world towards grace and kindness!
🤣a side-hustle non-profit. because non profits are known for running efficiently and smoothly with very little work. ;)
oh yes! you did! (borrowed and reassembled) I recognize it now. How fabulous.
and yes yes yes to this, my love, "Maybe as writers, we can help uphold democracy by playing to our strengths instead of trying to go to all the meetings"
Hahaha right? Because non-profits run themselves 🙄 Good thing I asked Love about and they pulled me back!
Thanks again for inspiring me to register. I always do - and vote - but I needed to move it to the top of my to do list.
Lovely to see - and hear! - you today!
🤣 yay for Love sending a little nudge away from that. ;) so fun to see and hear you last night in SCHOOL! xoxoxo
💕 💕 💕
I teared up thinking about your grieve listening to you read MO to get after a long, hard shift. There's a whole essay waiting to be written right there, as well! And I do look forward to this budding peice about your grandmother- I can see you sitting beside her, tee shirt pressed against housedress, the conversation swirling. Just the BEST!
Mmmmm. Yes! I loved being with her. Just loved it. She died when I was 21 and I long to have been able to know her as an older woman.
I think you're right on the essay too about my friend. I tell her all the time we should write a book about her nursing stories. There is so much there and she is such a healer, the way she interacts with her patients, the love she shows them, brings me to tears all the time.
xoxo
"...grace is glitter Modge Podge for our souls." ✨️🙌 Well, thanks for that delightful little nugget, Jocelyn! And that essay by Grace (Grace!) was exquisite and so raw. I also love anything that Mary Oliver and Anne Lamott have to say about the subject (or any subject, really.) Today I give Grace to myself for losing my cool with the Home Depot service representative- I was much nicer when I called back later, after sitting on my porch swing and having a bit of ice cream. Really, it must be hard to talk to angry or disappointed people all the time. 😂
Kendall, I'm chuckling out loud. ;) thank you! I wasn't sure if enough people would know what Modge Podge was, but it came out like that and I liked it, so I went with it.
That essay by GP just gets me every time. Every single word is precise and has a place. She's such a master, I just love her. And me too on AL and MO. I've been reading through a compilation of Mary's poems, I leave voice messages for my friend who's a night nurse and I read her poems, so she hears them on her way home from her shift. Who better to carry you away from sickness and back into the world than Mary Oliver?
And THANK YOU! 🫶 for sharing your story. I could feel you on the porch swing with your ice cream, rocking and tasting. I LOVE porch swings. When I would visit my grandma in Missouri in the summers, we would sit on the porch swing, her in her housedress, me in probably shorts and a t. I wish I could hear what we talked about. There's healing in porch swings.
And, Miss Kendall -- you just gave me the subject that's been wanting to be written about and I didn't even know it! it's the thing I've been trying to write all week and know I feel it's my grandma who wants to have a story told. Thank you!! 🙏❤️❤️
I never drew the connection between her name and her work until this essay. Thanks.
You are so welcome. I always thought of her writing style as graceful - it seems like she just came up with these lines out of thin air, like "making a narrow remark which, like a plumber’s snake, could work its way through the ear down the throat, half-way to my heart. He would then disappear, leaving me choking with equipment."
But I didn't realize, at least consciously, until today, that the essay is also about grace. I have a feeling there was some grace at work, because she, and this piece, came to mind immediately when I thought to write about grace today.
🙏
Oh! Also, thank you for showing me some grace today. ;)
Grace Paley and the story “Wants” is one to save, read again, again. I often on the story in my teaching. Xx —Mary
Hello sweet Mary, Isn't it though? And it never gets old or looses meaning with the years. I'm just floored by it, every single time.
xoxox
Yes, me too!
Awe, thank you for this Jocelyn🙏♥️
For all of this-I pulled a muscle walking in the woods this morning, forcing a Real Slow down & surrender to my body. I’ve finally come round to yielding to its needs, & the symbolism.
This afforded me time with all of the stunning comments your piece generated here: vulnerable shares, new authors, wise & profound expansions on what Grace is, offers, invokes, invites… & much more- such a treasure of richness.
I want to call out your words- so resonant for me as I try on patience with myself:
“There's such pressure to write something that's sharable, when really, the writing, the being with ourselves, the processing that happens when we write is really the whole thing. It's life, in a way, isn't it?”
It IS Life!!! The Being & the Processing!!! And it also hit me that I Am writing!! It counts that I write in the comments all the time- share my thoughts, dialogue with others and so on. And isn’t this what I want from something I’d post on my own Substack anyway? 🤗
Of course I still aim to, but lowering the stakes and the self-flagellating.
I Also write scribble pages & poems & other musings- so perhaps I loosen my grip on what writing ‘counts?’ 🤔😂
Ohmygosh, yes! so much yes! to loosening our grip on which writing counts? I have had the same thoughts, that oh, I didn't write enough today, but I spent an hour reading and writing comments and being in community with other writers and absorbing their words and putting my own down. I have come to allow myself that that too is part of the writing process. As much as we're all introverts, the writing doesn't actually happen in a vacuum.
And oh, the pulled muscle. How annoying at first and then what a gift. I often have a hard time not allowing my body to be what or how it is. I wish I were stronger, could run father and faster, if you read the post on yoga, you know I wish I had a very strong core lol. And yet, there is so much beauty and wisdom in the process, in being with ourselves where we are. You said it so beautifully here, "...surrender to my body. I’ve finally come round to yielding to its needs, & the symbolism."
And thank you for calling out those particular words. They came to me as I wrote them and I though, oh yes. That's truth right there.
here's to the being and the processing and letting go a little of the shoulds.
so much love and allowance and grace to you! xoxoxo
This was So Lovely Jocelyn!! And Just perfect timing for me today. And well, really any and every day, because when is it ever a bad day to soften our bellies and extend ourselves- and subsequently the world-Grace? (Incidentally my Gramma’s name)
I am not always so good at the former, & tend to have such an active monkey mind keeping tabs on All my shortcomings, ‘shoulda but didn’t’s’ & otherwise just making me feel like I’ve failed before I’ve even started.
This Partially eclipsed Pices Super Full Moon season has me aiming to shed all that isn’t serving-& perhaps this opens More space for inviting Grace?✨
Thank you so much and ohmygosh yes, Colleen. This, "such an active monkey mind keeping tabs on All my shortcomings, ‘shoulda but didn’t’s’ & otherwise just making me feel like I’ve failed before I’ve even started."
And also yes to grace all the time, every day! Like Mingyur Rinpoche says, you can meditate anytime anywhere - we can invite grace in anytime anywhere. I love this video of him talking about monkey mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PIabPUa2y4
I love that your Gramma's name is Grace and also that you call her gramma, not grandma, I did too. ❤️❤️❤️
Oh, I meant to say that the video is only about 2 minutes long. :) xo