I feel you so much Jocelyn. I’m sorry you are going through all this.
On a very random side note, this morning in my journal I wrote how I would love to have a newsletter called Hello Beautiful because that’s what my husband says to me several times a day every day. We’ve been married for 36 years! He’s been calling me beautiful for decades and I only started hearing him. And tonight I stumble on your essay on notes and notice the name of your newsletter! Suffice to say, I love it. And hello beautiful you.
Hello Beautiful You! I just love serendipity, don't you? and thank you for your kind words. It's lovely to be seen. I am much much better now. Writing about it was good, sharing it seems to have been key to healing a little bit more of the hypervigilance. It's all a process. I love that your husband has said that to you every day for 36 years! How wonderful and lovely - both the greeting and the 36 year marriage. That's a big thing. This I love too, "I only started hearing him." wooo. That gave me goosebumps. I'm so glad you're hearing him now! And I'm so glad you're here. xoxoxo
That's a for real post, Jocelyn. We're going through a bumpy, uncertain season lately; my wife healing up with some things.
So yesterday, while a tillin, I noticed 3 rabbits in our dog pen, (dogs inside!), who saw me and scooched out the fence, running away in a rabbit, tag race. I saw a patch of rabbit fur and found a litter of newborn rabbits, under the fur. I read and understand rabbit moms may only check on their babies once or twice in 24 hours! Add to the fact, they were born in a dog pen! But, so far so good! I think someone is watching out for us, even though the world is scary. Let the wind blow through you? I think that's great advice.
Thanks, Ron. It is at that, isn't it? (a real post I mean) I'll send some extra healing and love to you and your wife.
This story! Baby bunnies in a dog pen. This makes me feel wonderful. It's those little (maybe not so little) signs that the world is okay, at least in one little place, that keep me going, that help me have faith that love is stronger than all the rest.
Here's a little prayer for all of us letting some wind blow through. 🙏
First, I am so sorry you had the accident and the trauma continues. Seemingly small events can be a portal for unresolved trauma. A metaphorical cut happens and becomes infected. The pain is intense. Then, slowly, unevenly, the infection heals, leaving a small, barely noticeable (except to you) scar that remains for life.
I want to tell you this insurance nightmare will end. You will be whole when it does, and your perspective about it will change.
I also want to tell you that you are a bomb of a writer and exercising your talent to look at this cut and heal is the very best thing you can do.
And a last thing. That scar? It will be made of strong, tough but empathetic skin that you can touch when other portals come and try to knock you over. That scar will remind you that you will survive those portals too.
Ohmygosh, your restack was the first thing I saw and then this. Oh big tears of feeling loved and seen. Words can't thank you enough for this, Diana. Just. So. Much. Love and Support. And said so beautifully. "tough but empathetic skin that you can touch when other portals come and try to knock you over. That scar will remind you that you will survive those portals too." so powerful. and this made me feel so good, "you are a bomb of a writer and exercising your talent to look at this cut and heal is the very best thing you can do." it's true, too. i am feeling so much stronger and so much less fragile already. and I know that writing it down was important, but sharing it was even more healing. Here is to thriving and big love. Right back at you, sister. xoxoxo
Had to sit with this for a while, Jocelyn. I love this thought, “That wounded child in us is trying to tell us something, always, and I have found great power and release in just listening”. The self awareness you have to acknowledge and listen to your wounded child is everything. I’m sorry for your calamities and so sorry for the angst they are causing you. You’re not standing alone and you always are surrounded by love here
Thank you thank you. I feel the love and support and it's just incredible. This is so beautiful, "You're not standing alone." I deeply feel that. This was such an interesting piece to share. My mind kept thinking, this is too much, it's too real and dark and what are you doing? But the rest of me really needed to get this out, so I wasn't holding on to it so tightly and so other people knew _they_ weren't standing alone either. 🙏
That’s the beauty in all of this. And it’s something I’m learning still. People want to know you, the real you and the more real you give us, the more we come to know you and acknowledge you for who you are.
It’s so true of me when I read or listen to others and it feels so much less true when I think of it as others perceiving/experiencing me. Thank you for this reminder!❤️
Thank you, Susie. I felt super fragile about it last night and like, woah, what did I just do? But I published it yesterday because I wanted anyone out there feeling the same to know they're not alone and I truly feel different today. Something about sharing the thing I usually hide was very powerful to me. So thank _you_ for reading and being part of my little community. It means more than you might know. 🙏❤️
Thank you, Mary. It's been interesting to watch what comes up around this. I'm feeling better after spending a bit of time in outside in the sun today. That always helps. And tea. :) xoxo
Sometimes, we forget that the truth is enough. It doesn't need to be spun or angled, just told matter-of-factly. I've been in accidents that weren't my fault and one that wasn't but still deemed my fault (long story shorter: I was turning left and was blocked mid-turn by a woman changing lanes into mine after I had started, leaving me nowhere to go and stuck in the intersection). That one, the speeding driver who saw me but did not slow or stop or swerve, threatened to sue. My insurance company settled with him to protect me. I was still enraged, but they were kind and calm and said they were doing this for my benefit. Certain things are out of our control. Whenever we turn left or back out, we don't have the right of way. But we can't go through life never turning left or backing out. We just have to trust ourselves and then tell the truth if something goes wrong. I'm so sorry for this headache and heartache, Jocelyn. It's just your heart's way of saying it's time to heal more. When you come out the other side, you'll be stronger and wiser...and happier. Good luck. It will work out. Trust that and yourself. xo
Oh thank you Sandra. I really love this, "we can't go through life never turning left or backing out." and to tell the truth if something goes wrong. so much yes. And I totally agree on the healing! I even felt a little relief today from the normal morning vigilance. Like there was a little of the afternoon calm left over today. Healing, one step at a time and I'm so grateful to have this beautiful community which helps me along. xo🙏
I feel you so much Jocelyn. I’m sorry you are going through all this.
On a very random side note, this morning in my journal I wrote how I would love to have a newsletter called Hello Beautiful because that’s what my husband says to me several times a day every day. We’ve been married for 36 years! He’s been calling me beautiful for decades and I only started hearing him. And tonight I stumble on your essay on notes and notice the name of your newsletter! Suffice to say, I love it. And hello beautiful you.
Hello Beautiful You! I just love serendipity, don't you? and thank you for your kind words. It's lovely to be seen. I am much much better now. Writing about it was good, sharing it seems to have been key to healing a little bit more of the hypervigilance. It's all a process. I love that your husband has said that to you every day for 36 years! How wonderful and lovely - both the greeting and the 36 year marriage. That's a big thing. This I love too, "I only started hearing him." wooo. That gave me goosebumps. I'm so glad you're hearing him now! And I'm so glad you're here. xoxoxo
That's a for real post, Jocelyn. We're going through a bumpy, uncertain season lately; my wife healing up with some things.
So yesterday, while a tillin, I noticed 3 rabbits in our dog pen, (dogs inside!), who saw me and scooched out the fence, running away in a rabbit, tag race. I saw a patch of rabbit fur and found a litter of newborn rabbits, under the fur. I read and understand rabbit moms may only check on their babies once or twice in 24 hours! Add to the fact, they were born in a dog pen! But, so far so good! I think someone is watching out for us, even though the world is scary. Let the wind blow through you? I think that's great advice.
Thanks, Ron. It is at that, isn't it? (a real post I mean) I'll send some extra healing and love to you and your wife.
This story! Baby bunnies in a dog pen. This makes me feel wonderful. It's those little (maybe not so little) signs that the world is okay, at least in one little place, that keep me going, that help me have faith that love is stronger than all the rest.
Here's a little prayer for all of us letting some wind blow through. 🙏
I’m thinking that rabbit might need a new real estate agent!
Haha! Yes for sure. One with a better sense of the long term gains of extra space.
First, I am so sorry you had the accident and the trauma continues. Seemingly small events can be a portal for unresolved trauma. A metaphorical cut happens and becomes infected. The pain is intense. Then, slowly, unevenly, the infection heals, leaving a small, barely noticeable (except to you) scar that remains for life.
I want to tell you this insurance nightmare will end. You will be whole when it does, and your perspective about it will change.
I also want to tell you that you are a bomb of a writer and exercising your talent to look at this cut and heal is the very best thing you can do.
And a last thing. That scar? It will be made of strong, tough but empathetic skin that you can touch when other portals come and try to knock you over. That scar will remind you that you will survive those portals too.
And thrive. Big love. 🧡
Ohmygosh, your restack was the first thing I saw and then this. Oh big tears of feeling loved and seen. Words can't thank you enough for this, Diana. Just. So. Much. Love and Support. And said so beautifully. "tough but empathetic skin that you can touch when other portals come and try to knock you over. That scar will remind you that you will survive those portals too." so powerful. and this made me feel so good, "you are a bomb of a writer and exercising your talent to look at this cut and heal is the very best thing you can do." it's true, too. i am feeling so much stronger and so much less fragile already. and I know that writing it down was important, but sharing it was even more healing. Here is to thriving and big love. Right back at you, sister. xoxoxo
Had to sit with this for a while, Jocelyn. I love this thought, “That wounded child in us is trying to tell us something, always, and I have found great power and release in just listening”. The self awareness you have to acknowledge and listen to your wounded child is everything. I’m sorry for your calamities and so sorry for the angst they are causing you. You’re not standing alone and you always are surrounded by love here
Thank you thank you. I feel the love and support and it's just incredible. This is so beautiful, "You're not standing alone." I deeply feel that. This was such an interesting piece to share. My mind kept thinking, this is too much, it's too real and dark and what are you doing? But the rest of me really needed to get this out, so I wasn't holding on to it so tightly and so other people knew _they_ weren't standing alone either. 🙏
That’s the beauty in all of this. And it’s something I’m learning still. People want to know you, the real you and the more real you give us, the more we come to know you and acknowledge you for who you are.
It’s so true of me when I read or listen to others and it feels so much less true when I think of it as others perceiving/experiencing me. Thank you for this reminder!❤️
This was a very courageous post. I admire your getting through what you're going through and being willing to do the writing.
Thank you, Susie. I felt super fragile about it last night and like, woah, what did I just do? But I published it yesterday because I wanted anyone out there feeling the same to know they're not alone and I truly feel different today. Something about sharing the thing I usually hide was very powerful to me. So thank _you_ for reading and being part of my little community. It means more than you might know. 🙏❤️
Keep doing it
Okay. I felt that little arrow of encouragement right in my heart in the best way. Thank you.
Ugh. I’m so sorry the accident has kicked up so much stress and worry for you. Hoping peace returns soon.
Thank you, Mary. It's been interesting to watch what comes up around this. I'm feeling better after spending a bit of time in outside in the sun today. That always helps. And tea. :) xoxo
Sorry to hear about your accident and the anxiety around it. 😢 Hope things settle soon and get better. Sending well wishes. 🫶🏻
Thank you so much! xoxo
Sometimes, we forget that the truth is enough. It doesn't need to be spun or angled, just told matter-of-factly. I've been in accidents that weren't my fault and one that wasn't but still deemed my fault (long story shorter: I was turning left and was blocked mid-turn by a woman changing lanes into mine after I had started, leaving me nowhere to go and stuck in the intersection). That one, the speeding driver who saw me but did not slow or stop or swerve, threatened to sue. My insurance company settled with him to protect me. I was still enraged, but they were kind and calm and said they were doing this for my benefit. Certain things are out of our control. Whenever we turn left or back out, we don't have the right of way. But we can't go through life never turning left or backing out. We just have to trust ourselves and then tell the truth if something goes wrong. I'm so sorry for this headache and heartache, Jocelyn. It's just your heart's way of saying it's time to heal more. When you come out the other side, you'll be stronger and wiser...and happier. Good luck. It will work out. Trust that and yourself. xo
Oh thank you Sandra. I really love this, "we can't go through life never turning left or backing out." and to tell the truth if something goes wrong. so much yes. And I totally agree on the healing! I even felt a little relief today from the normal morning vigilance. Like there was a little of the afternoon calm left over today. Healing, one step at a time and I'm so grateful to have this beautiful community which helps me along. xo🙏