I've had a few unhinged moments thinking about our world without Andrea Gibson in it and yet, as you said Jocelyn, she always will be. Thank you for reminding us that sometimes, most times, we must let go.
Jocelyn, thank you for mentioning me with such kindness. This is my first post mention so it will remain very special. I have had many challenges in my life and not an easy childhood, but I can't say that I experienced trauma. This said, what you said about always feeling the need to protect oneself really touched me because for different reasons, I have felt like I was living in survival mode more than once in my life. And when you feel like you need to survive something, you look for any way to feel safe and protected. When we do this, we close ourselves off to life through all the ways you mentioned - we distract ourselves. It is oh so easy nowadays; everything feels like a potential distraction. Everything except love. I like how you say that you need to let go of the control. Can we expose ourselves in those moments of vulnerability and allow all our emotions free to do what they need to do and not feel ashamed of this? As I said, I am not a person who can speak about trauma, but I find that the way to heal anything is through love. Can we take the focus away from what we are and aren't doing, what we are and aren't feeling, how we are failing, etc and instead practice loving ourselves no matter what. If I know that I will love myself even at my worse and lowest, it takes the pressure off, it feels safe. And maybe with this sense of self-safety, I will be able to get through whatever I am experiencing better. And we discover that situations may challenge us, but they will not kill us. Our emotions won't kill us. On the contrary, on the other side of survival, confidence awaits. And this new inner strength that serves as proof: If I got through that, I can do it again. I can get through everything. This is all thinking outloud here. Thank you for exposing yourself. It is an act of love for someone or many someones who needed to connect with you in this way. love to you sweetie, hope your therapy went well and you are feeling better xo
Thank you for such a lovely comment. And you are so welcome! Wheee! Your first mention, that's super exciting and I'm thrilled I was the one to do it. ;) I've so appreciated our conversations here in the comments.
Your insights into needing to protect and survive are so full of love and wisdom. I think just being human and living this life is fraught with small traumas. And anytime we feel unsafe or without basic needs met to survive, we turn to coping mechanisms.
And yes, everything now feels like a distraction. It's why I try to take time off from my screens on the weekends, why I don't do social media (and spend very little time on notes here). I deeply need the outdoors, the quiet (or noise) of nature. The lack of interruption from machines.
100% agree that love is the answer to all things. I've said that so many times. It's the most true thing I know. Love and more love and more love. It's a practice for me, one I have to come back to, like the breath in yoga or meditation, but what a lovely source to return to again and again.
I love how you said this, "we discover that situations may challenge us, but they will not kill us. Our emotions won't kill us." Our emotions won't kill us. For me, in my childhood emotions weren't safe because they provoked my already volatile parents. I just talked about this with my therapist yesterday! That I have this range of emotions I allow myself to have, but if they go too far in any one direction, I tamp them down. I experience joy all the time, but I never let it carry me away. I experience anger, but I rarely let myself FEEL it all the way in my bones. So I'm going to be working on allowing. Allowing a fuller range of emotions to come and go. All the while knowing that more love is the answer. ;)
Thank you for saying this, "Thank you for exposing yourself. It is an act of love for someone or many someones who needed to connect with you in this way" I felt suuuper vulnerable after I posted this.
And thank you thank you for the love. I feel it. Sending you a bushel of it too. ❤️
I wasn’t taught emotions either (or honesty). I knew that I didn’t want to repeat this with my daughters. This is why my practice is so important. Keep returning to love.
And the same goes with our writing. As long as you are ready to share it, know that it will be received as a gift for whoever is ready to receive it. All my love. xo
Oh that is so beautiful, " As long as you are ready to share it, know that it will be received as a gift for whoever is ready to receive it." I just bask in your wise words, thank you so much for sharing them here. ❤️ All of mine too. xo
When we do everything from a place of self-love and respect, nothing will ever feel wrong. Thank you for sharing all of this with me. We simultaneously give and receive with every honest, loving interaction. There is no separation. No more you, less me or vice versa. There is just us and love. Omg, connection is so important, isn't it. xo
I've had a few unhinged moments thinking about our world without Andrea Gibson in it and yet, as you said Jocelyn, she always will be. Thank you for reminding us that sometimes, most times, we must let go.
Yes, losing Andrea is a hard blow. I'm sending you love as you grieve the loss and also celebrating with you the fact that she will always be. ♥️
Jocelyn, thank you for mentioning me with such kindness. This is my first post mention so it will remain very special. I have had many challenges in my life and not an easy childhood, but I can't say that I experienced trauma. This said, what you said about always feeling the need to protect oneself really touched me because for different reasons, I have felt like I was living in survival mode more than once in my life. And when you feel like you need to survive something, you look for any way to feel safe and protected. When we do this, we close ourselves off to life through all the ways you mentioned - we distract ourselves. It is oh so easy nowadays; everything feels like a potential distraction. Everything except love. I like how you say that you need to let go of the control. Can we expose ourselves in those moments of vulnerability and allow all our emotions free to do what they need to do and not feel ashamed of this? As I said, I am not a person who can speak about trauma, but I find that the way to heal anything is through love. Can we take the focus away from what we are and aren't doing, what we are and aren't feeling, how we are failing, etc and instead practice loving ourselves no matter what. If I know that I will love myself even at my worse and lowest, it takes the pressure off, it feels safe. And maybe with this sense of self-safety, I will be able to get through whatever I am experiencing better. And we discover that situations may challenge us, but they will not kill us. Our emotions won't kill us. On the contrary, on the other side of survival, confidence awaits. And this new inner strength that serves as proof: If I got through that, I can do it again. I can get through everything. This is all thinking outloud here. Thank you for exposing yourself. It is an act of love for someone or many someones who needed to connect with you in this way. love to you sweetie, hope your therapy went well and you are feeling better xo
Thank you for such a lovely comment. And you are so welcome! Wheee! Your first mention, that's super exciting and I'm thrilled I was the one to do it. ;) I've so appreciated our conversations here in the comments.
Your insights into needing to protect and survive are so full of love and wisdom. I think just being human and living this life is fraught with small traumas. And anytime we feel unsafe or without basic needs met to survive, we turn to coping mechanisms.
And yes, everything now feels like a distraction. It's why I try to take time off from my screens on the weekends, why I don't do social media (and spend very little time on notes here). I deeply need the outdoors, the quiet (or noise) of nature. The lack of interruption from machines.
100% agree that love is the answer to all things. I've said that so many times. It's the most true thing I know. Love and more love and more love. It's a practice for me, one I have to come back to, like the breath in yoga or meditation, but what a lovely source to return to again and again.
I love how you said this, "we discover that situations may challenge us, but they will not kill us. Our emotions won't kill us." Our emotions won't kill us. For me, in my childhood emotions weren't safe because they provoked my already volatile parents. I just talked about this with my therapist yesterday! That I have this range of emotions I allow myself to have, but if they go too far in any one direction, I tamp them down. I experience joy all the time, but I never let it carry me away. I experience anger, but I rarely let myself FEEL it all the way in my bones. So I'm going to be working on allowing. Allowing a fuller range of emotions to come and go. All the while knowing that more love is the answer. ;)
Thank you for saying this, "Thank you for exposing yourself. It is an act of love for someone or many someones who needed to connect with you in this way" I felt suuuper vulnerable after I posted this.
And thank you thank you for the love. I feel it. Sending you a bushel of it too. ❤️
I wasn’t taught emotions either (or honesty). I knew that I didn’t want to repeat this with my daughters. This is why my practice is so important. Keep returning to love.
And the same goes with our writing. As long as you are ready to share it, know that it will be received as a gift for whoever is ready to receive it. All my love. xo
Oh that is so beautiful, " As long as you are ready to share it, know that it will be received as a gift for whoever is ready to receive it." I just bask in your wise words, thank you so much for sharing them here. ❤️ All of mine too. xo
When we do everything from a place of self-love and respect, nothing will ever feel wrong. Thank you for sharing all of this with me. We simultaneously give and receive with every honest, loving interaction. There is no separation. No more you, less me or vice versa. There is just us and love. Omg, connection is so important, isn't it. xo
It's so true. The self love paired with the respect. Such a powerful combination. I love that you posted this to notes too! xoxo