So glad you were ok but in my opinion no matter how minor the accident it is still often unsettling at best and a little traumatizing at worst. The biggest accident I’ve been in was the day before my college graduation, and I was T-boned by a car - the upsetting thing was that it was completely my fault because I was trying to cross the street and they were just driving perpendicular to me, but what sucked was that my view of the street was completely blocked by two cars that were illegally parked giving me no way to see if there were incoming cars. I had three passengers in the car with me and thank goodness no one was hurt, but the front of my car was completely bashed in on the right side and when I got out I was shaking and sobbing both because it was so sudden and terrifying and because I knew it was my fault and I was very worried about the person in the other car. Luckily, she also was not hurt. However, her mom showed up at the scene and absolutely ripped into me - yelling at me that it was her daughters high school graduation the next day, and that she was on her way to a violin performance and didn’t stop yelling at me for about five minutes, while I was still shaking and crying hysterically - it was an awful insult injury since I already knew it was my fault, and I felt so incredibly terrible. Then of course the police show up and it’s so hard to talk to them when you’re feeling so rattled, but the only silver lining was that they at least ticketed the two cars that were blocking my view of the street! I remember feeling a little annoyed after overhearing the other driver tell the cops she was only going 25 miles an hour, which was a silly lie, since the speed limit was 35 - but nonetheless, once again, it was still my fault. It was the firefighters who showed up however that were the true heroes of my story - since their role is more about safety, and if anyone’s hurt, I remember one fireman sat down with me and put his arm around me while i sat on the curb shaking and crying and i will never forget his compassion and kindness because once again, I felt so guilty and like I had no right to be upset since I caused the accident 😔 so besides how jarring it actually feels when two cars collide honestly, the hardest part for me was being yelled at and scolded by the other driver’s Mom - it just felt so unnecessary, but what can you do?
My second story is about a near accident, but worth sharing! It was the middle of winter when I was living in Vail, Colorado and I was driving by myself in the left lane on a pass going the same speed as the other cars is in the left lane and it was blizzarding and pretty icy, and at one point my wheels started to spin out on the ice - And I knew from lots of experience driving in winter conditions that there really was nothing I could do as far as controlling the car so I dropped my hands from the steering wheel and pretty much accepted the fact that I was going to flip off the rail and die and I remember my car doing a complete 360 in what felt like slow motion on the highway and at one point literally being face-to-face with a semi truck going the opposite direction of me in the right lane. Then, all of a sudden, miraculously, I literally ended up perfectly parallel to the railing, and on the shoulder facing the right direction. It was one of those moments where my brain didn’t know how to feel since, for all intense and purposes, nothing happened. All the other cars were safe and it literally turned out to be the best possible case scenario. Nonetheless, since for a minute I thought I was going to die, I still sat on the shoulder sobbing, trying to process what happened and how I was still alive but since no accident occurred and I was fine, I didn’t feel like I had any justification for being as upset as I was so didn’t really tell anybody about it… It was an insane experience though to say the least!
Ohmygosh, Natalie, those are both big deals! the first one, that mom makes me so mad. She could have comforted you or done so many other things. My heart aches for your young self. I love that the fireman comforted you though and of course you had a right to be upset, which you know now I'm sure. But just because something is technically our fault, doesn't mean we don't suffer too! And you know, in my little accident, the cops were so nice. I was surprised and grateful. They were calm and actually helped get my car towed, because I truly didn't know what to do. I thanked them both profusely. They stuck around with me for a long time to make sure I was okay. It was just lovely. And then your second accident. Woah! Talk about luck or divine intervention or it just not being your time. And that too is super traumatic. Thinking you're going to crash, even if it wasn't emotionally traumatic, which it was, the adrenaline and cortisol rushing through your body is for real! My mom had an accident like that on Highway 17 between San Jose and Santa Cruz in CA. It's one of the most dangerous roads in the country and she had a similar thing where she was just spinning out and knew she was going to hit oncoming cars and then she just....didn't. Well, I'm so glad you told ME about your second accident. Thank you thank you for sharing!! ❤️ Wait - how long ago was the Veil accident-not-an-accident-but-still-scary-af-situation? ;)
That’s actually really nice to hear the cops were so nice to you - I realize their role is to investigate what happened and who was at fault etc. so although they certainly weren’t mean to me I just remember being intimidated by them since I knew that I was at fault so I was irrationally scared of them lol - and the accident -not-accident was a year later in about 2007!
I totally get that. And you were young. And the woman yelled at you. Ugh so much! I tend to just be wary of cops anyway and I was rattle, I didn't know who's fault it was. I didn't think it was mine, but they just renewed my faith in people just being kind. I was obviously really shaken up and they went out of their way to help me.
I’m so sorry you had this happen to you. I was in an accident many years ago, at least fifty! I ran a stop sign and realized it when I saw a car coming towards me. I sped up, and he hit the rear right side of my car. I had two toddlers, a four year old and and two year old in the car. We didn’t have seat belts or car seats in those days. One was asleep on the floor of the car, and the other was asleep on the back seat. I was spun around, and also traveled onto the lawn of a house heading towards a tree. The car started to flip, and then came back down on all four tires and stopped in front of the tree. None of us were hurt. Amazing! I was terrified to drive again. My husband at the time said you must get back on the horse. In other words, he told me to drive us all someplace the next day. I don’t think I ever let the trauma of it all sink in, but later when I thought about, I shuttered to think about what could have happened. The car was totaled. We bought another car, and life went on. I remember one lesson I always carried with me after that day: don’t drive if you are distracted or upset. I was upset about a marital issue. I was actually quite despondent about it. I never should have driven anywhere in that state. I still try to remember that because driving takes total attention and ability to focus.
Sally, I just realized I replied to this AGES ago, but I must not have hit post? Or thought I did. Anyway, I'm sorry to just leave you hanging. That is an awful story. And I'mm so glad you and your babies were safe. I remember cars without seatbelts -- it was back in the 70s when I was pretty young. That's such a traumatic thing, especially with people you love in the car. And I remember when I was in therapy just after my divorce, my therapist would have me sit and wait, if it had been an especially emotional session, just wait until I felt I could concentrate on driving. I remember her telling me, even after I said I was okay, to be very careful and to pull over if I wasn't paying attention to the road. I did a few times too.
I've been in several accidents, three of which resulted in totaled cars and (thankfully) none of which resulted in a "totaled me". It IS traumatizing. There is fear of what happens next which is the legal and logistical aspect. Then there is the medical aspect because even fender benders can cause the body not to be aligned and the pain sneaks up. Then there is the emotional aspect. It's been 8 years since my last wreck and totaled car, but it took me until last year to finally let go of the anxiety of driving and fear of the car itself. I STILL fear other drivers. Be kind to yourself as you navigate through this.
Amy, I don't know what happened, I remember replying, but yours and my reply to Sally didn't get posted. Thank you thank you for sharing! Eight years. I get that. sometimes it takes the body a long time to let go of the physical trauma. ;) I'm better now when I'm driving, but when I'm the passenger, I'm still a bit of a mess. It does seem to be getting better though. xoxox
Thank you for sharing! This is so helpful and healing for me to hear. You had so many accidents! I’m so glad you weren’t severely injured. And it’s comforting to me (awful for you) that it took you a long time to process and move on from the fear. So much love to you.❤️
It is such a scary and unsettling experience. A week after getting my car back after being rear ended I was broadsided at a 4 way intersection where they were working on the lights which were blinking red. I stopped, then it was my turn and the worker flipped the lights green as I went into the intersection anda van coming from the other road hit me. My car flipped and rolled twice. I remember thinking please don’t let me hit the pylons. The face of people when I got out of my car with no injuries also really scared me. Two bystanders said they thought I might be dead as the car ended up well down the road and all the bags were deployed and they couldn’t see into the car. I got sued by the people who hit me and it was months of total fear. There were witnesses who said they’d seen the city worker who’d changed the lights drive off when I got hit and had pictures of their truck. The guy that hit me had no drivers license or insurance. In the end the insurance company settled and then dropped me. I still panic if I come to stop lights flashing red. I’m incredibly grateful that my car protected me. Any car accident though is a visceral reminder of how quickly life can change in an instant. Be gentle with yourself♥️
Oh my. Thank you so much for sharing this. I've got chills reading it. What a terrible thing to happen. And what a miracle you survived and walked away even. The accident is one trauma and then the aftermath of blame and paperwork is another one. And you had an added lawsuit. I can't even imagine. Our bodies carry so much for us. I'm a much more cautious driver now for sure and after something like what happened to you, I'm so impressed you still drive. I am being gentle and you too. ❤🙏
Sorry to hear about your accident! I've had so many I totally feel what you are going through. But as long as you are not hurt yourself, then in the end it's all material. Great pictures by the way.
Thank you! This made me chuckle, “it’s all material.” So true and I am so thankful I wasn’t hurt. It’s always good to have something put things in perspective without any real harm done. I so appreciate your empathy. It’s so validating and comforting. ❤️
Sending you good vibes! By the way, I did not mean to be sarcastic by saying 'it's all material', not at all. What I meant to write was: health first. And you are right, repairing or buying a replacement car, and dealing with all the insurance and administrative paperwork and processes can be a monumental daunting nightmare. Almost as bad as filing taxes yourself. Cheers, wishing you a prompt recovery.
Oh I didn't take it that way. I took it as all the processes, the paperwork and for me being afraid that I won't be believed or that I did something wrong -- is material for healing, for writing about, for observing myself and learning. My chuckle was of feeling recognized, which felt great. Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures! Have you been to that part of the CA coast?
Not yet, but on my list for sure. Not sure it's a "list" anymore tbh, more like an open book with tons of destinations ...! California coast looks beautiful.
So glad you were ok but in my opinion no matter how minor the accident it is still often unsettling at best and a little traumatizing at worst. The biggest accident I’ve been in was the day before my college graduation, and I was T-boned by a car - the upsetting thing was that it was completely my fault because I was trying to cross the street and they were just driving perpendicular to me, but what sucked was that my view of the street was completely blocked by two cars that were illegally parked giving me no way to see if there were incoming cars. I had three passengers in the car with me and thank goodness no one was hurt, but the front of my car was completely bashed in on the right side and when I got out I was shaking and sobbing both because it was so sudden and terrifying and because I knew it was my fault and I was very worried about the person in the other car. Luckily, she also was not hurt. However, her mom showed up at the scene and absolutely ripped into me - yelling at me that it was her daughters high school graduation the next day, and that she was on her way to a violin performance and didn’t stop yelling at me for about five minutes, while I was still shaking and crying hysterically - it was an awful insult injury since I already knew it was my fault, and I felt so incredibly terrible. Then of course the police show up and it’s so hard to talk to them when you’re feeling so rattled, but the only silver lining was that they at least ticketed the two cars that were blocking my view of the street! I remember feeling a little annoyed after overhearing the other driver tell the cops she was only going 25 miles an hour, which was a silly lie, since the speed limit was 35 - but nonetheless, once again, it was still my fault. It was the firefighters who showed up however that were the true heroes of my story - since their role is more about safety, and if anyone’s hurt, I remember one fireman sat down with me and put his arm around me while i sat on the curb shaking and crying and i will never forget his compassion and kindness because once again, I felt so guilty and like I had no right to be upset since I caused the accident 😔 so besides how jarring it actually feels when two cars collide honestly, the hardest part for me was being yelled at and scolded by the other driver’s Mom - it just felt so unnecessary, but what can you do?
My second story is about a near accident, but worth sharing! It was the middle of winter when I was living in Vail, Colorado and I was driving by myself in the left lane on a pass going the same speed as the other cars is in the left lane and it was blizzarding and pretty icy, and at one point my wheels started to spin out on the ice - And I knew from lots of experience driving in winter conditions that there really was nothing I could do as far as controlling the car so I dropped my hands from the steering wheel and pretty much accepted the fact that I was going to flip off the rail and die and I remember my car doing a complete 360 in what felt like slow motion on the highway and at one point literally being face-to-face with a semi truck going the opposite direction of me in the right lane. Then, all of a sudden, miraculously, I literally ended up perfectly parallel to the railing, and on the shoulder facing the right direction. It was one of those moments where my brain didn’t know how to feel since, for all intense and purposes, nothing happened. All the other cars were safe and it literally turned out to be the best possible case scenario. Nonetheless, since for a minute I thought I was going to die, I still sat on the shoulder sobbing, trying to process what happened and how I was still alive but since no accident occurred and I was fine, I didn’t feel like I had any justification for being as upset as I was so didn’t really tell anybody about it… It was an insane experience though to say the least!
Ohmygosh, Natalie, those are both big deals! the first one, that mom makes me so mad. She could have comforted you or done so many other things. My heart aches for your young self. I love that the fireman comforted you though and of course you had a right to be upset, which you know now I'm sure. But just because something is technically our fault, doesn't mean we don't suffer too! And you know, in my little accident, the cops were so nice. I was surprised and grateful. They were calm and actually helped get my car towed, because I truly didn't know what to do. I thanked them both profusely. They stuck around with me for a long time to make sure I was okay. It was just lovely. And then your second accident. Woah! Talk about luck or divine intervention or it just not being your time. And that too is super traumatic. Thinking you're going to crash, even if it wasn't emotionally traumatic, which it was, the adrenaline and cortisol rushing through your body is for real! My mom had an accident like that on Highway 17 between San Jose and Santa Cruz in CA. It's one of the most dangerous roads in the country and she had a similar thing where she was just spinning out and knew she was going to hit oncoming cars and then she just....didn't. Well, I'm so glad you told ME about your second accident. Thank you thank you for sharing!! ❤️ Wait - how long ago was the Veil accident-not-an-accident-but-still-scary-af-situation? ;)
That’s actually really nice to hear the cops were so nice to you - I realize their role is to investigate what happened and who was at fault etc. so although they certainly weren’t mean to me I just remember being intimidated by them since I knew that I was at fault so I was irrationally scared of them lol - and the accident -not-accident was a year later in about 2007!
I totally get that. And you were young. And the woman yelled at you. Ugh so much! I tend to just be wary of cops anyway and I was rattle, I didn't know who's fault it was. I didn't think it was mine, but they just renewed my faith in people just being kind. I was obviously really shaken up and they went out of their way to help me.
I’m so sorry you had this happen to you. I was in an accident many years ago, at least fifty! I ran a stop sign and realized it when I saw a car coming towards me. I sped up, and he hit the rear right side of my car. I had two toddlers, a four year old and and two year old in the car. We didn’t have seat belts or car seats in those days. One was asleep on the floor of the car, and the other was asleep on the back seat. I was spun around, and also traveled onto the lawn of a house heading towards a tree. The car started to flip, and then came back down on all four tires and stopped in front of the tree. None of us were hurt. Amazing! I was terrified to drive again. My husband at the time said you must get back on the horse. In other words, he told me to drive us all someplace the next day. I don’t think I ever let the trauma of it all sink in, but later when I thought about, I shuttered to think about what could have happened. The car was totaled. We bought another car, and life went on. I remember one lesson I always carried with me after that day: don’t drive if you are distracted or upset. I was upset about a marital issue. I was actually quite despondent about it. I never should have driven anywhere in that state. I still try to remember that because driving takes total attention and ability to focus.
Sally, I just realized I replied to this AGES ago, but I must not have hit post? Or thought I did. Anyway, I'm sorry to just leave you hanging. That is an awful story. And I'mm so glad you and your babies were safe. I remember cars without seatbelts -- it was back in the 70s when I was pretty young. That's such a traumatic thing, especially with people you love in the car. And I remember when I was in therapy just after my divorce, my therapist would have me sit and wait, if it had been an especially emotional session, just wait until I felt I could concentrate on driving. I remember her telling me, even after I said I was okay, to be very careful and to pull over if I wasn't paying attention to the road. I did a few times too.
What a wise therapist.
I've been in several accidents, three of which resulted in totaled cars and (thankfully) none of which resulted in a "totaled me". It IS traumatizing. There is fear of what happens next which is the legal and logistical aspect. Then there is the medical aspect because even fender benders can cause the body not to be aligned and the pain sneaks up. Then there is the emotional aspect. It's been 8 years since my last wreck and totaled car, but it took me until last year to finally let go of the anxiety of driving and fear of the car itself. I STILL fear other drivers. Be kind to yourself as you navigate through this.
Amy, I don't know what happened, I remember replying, but yours and my reply to Sally didn't get posted. Thank you thank you for sharing! Eight years. I get that. sometimes it takes the body a long time to let go of the physical trauma. ;) I'm better now when I'm driving, but when I'm the passenger, I'm still a bit of a mess. It does seem to be getting better though. xoxox
Thank you for sharing! This is so helpful and healing for me to hear. You had so many accidents! I’m so glad you weren’t severely injured. And it’s comforting to me (awful for you) that it took you a long time to process and move on from the fear. So much love to you.❤️
It is such a scary and unsettling experience. A week after getting my car back after being rear ended I was broadsided at a 4 way intersection where they were working on the lights which were blinking red. I stopped, then it was my turn and the worker flipped the lights green as I went into the intersection anda van coming from the other road hit me. My car flipped and rolled twice. I remember thinking please don’t let me hit the pylons. The face of people when I got out of my car with no injuries also really scared me. Two bystanders said they thought I might be dead as the car ended up well down the road and all the bags were deployed and they couldn’t see into the car. I got sued by the people who hit me and it was months of total fear. There were witnesses who said they’d seen the city worker who’d changed the lights drive off when I got hit and had pictures of their truck. The guy that hit me had no drivers license or insurance. In the end the insurance company settled and then dropped me. I still panic if I come to stop lights flashing red. I’m incredibly grateful that my car protected me. Any car accident though is a visceral reminder of how quickly life can change in an instant. Be gentle with yourself♥️
Oh my. Thank you so much for sharing this. I've got chills reading it. What a terrible thing to happen. And what a miracle you survived and walked away even. The accident is one trauma and then the aftermath of blame and paperwork is another one. And you had an added lawsuit. I can't even imagine. Our bodies carry so much for us. I'm a much more cautious driver now for sure and after something like what happened to you, I'm so impressed you still drive. I am being gentle and you too. ❤🙏
Sorry to hear about your accident! I've had so many I totally feel what you are going through. But as long as you are not hurt yourself, then in the end it's all material. Great pictures by the way.
Thank you! This made me chuckle, “it’s all material.” So true and I am so thankful I wasn’t hurt. It’s always good to have something put things in perspective without any real harm done. I so appreciate your empathy. It’s so validating and comforting. ❤️
Sending you good vibes! By the way, I did not mean to be sarcastic by saying 'it's all material', not at all. What I meant to write was: health first. And you are right, repairing or buying a replacement car, and dealing with all the insurance and administrative paperwork and processes can be a monumental daunting nightmare. Almost as bad as filing taxes yourself. Cheers, wishing you a prompt recovery.
Oh I didn't take it that way. I took it as all the processes, the paperwork and for me being afraid that I won't be believed or that I did something wrong -- is material for healing, for writing about, for observing myself and learning. My chuckle was of feeling recognized, which felt great. Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures! Have you been to that part of the CA coast?
Not yet, but on my list for sure. Not sure it's a "list" anymore tbh, more like an open book with tons of destinations ...! California coast looks beautiful.
I've been to a lot of coasts and it is truly stunning. Pictures can't do the enormity and drama justice.