Thank you, Steve. Cambria is a gorgeous piece of the coast. I mean, there isn't really any of the CA coastline I don't love. I went to UCLA and visited my mom in Santa Cruz, so I drove Highway 1 to see her all the time. One of my all time favorite things to do. We're lucky to be native to CA, aren't we? (I'm technically a transplant, I arrived when I was 18 months old.) And thank you for the kind words. It means the world to me when something I experienced and share touches someone else. And a huge thank you to you for becoming a paid subscriber! You made my day! 🙏
Wow right back.❤️ thank you for such vulnerable words. This made me tear up, "Writing in a way that when I read your words I get to not only know you better and deeper but also know myself as your writing puts my own life of trauma and chaos into tangible sentences that express what I don’t have the ability to say." Thank you so much for saying that honey. THAT is the reason I write here. I deeply believe that healing is a lot of solo effort, but there is also such powerful healing in the presence of others and their stories. Thank you thank you, for your support and reading and telling me how it feels for you. It means the world to me. One more sleep and we get to see each other! xo
Oh thank _you_. That means the world to me because it was so so so hard for so many years to be vulnerable or talk about any of it. My little ten year old self loves the hug! Squeeze your daughter extra for me. ❤️
Thank you!!! That all makes me feel so good. Having a day today where I'm feeling not so much like a boss, and I needed some extra love - thank you!❤️✨
I think that 10-year-old girl sat there waiting for her father to show some compassion and let her in. Isn't that why we always stayed -- to see if they changed? This is beautiful, Jocelyn. And the spatula is the best part, and left for the chef. xo
Oh my god. That's so true, "Isn't that why we always stayed -- to see if they changed?" Thank you so much for the kind words. I loved the spatula part too! Both the doing of it and the writing of it later. :)
Ummm wow. So much wow. First this “ He offered me hugs as well, but when I am feeling angry at myself, it is almost impossible for me to accept love” hit deep. So deep I saw myself as if in a mirror. So many years of not being able to accept love. I felt the loss of this love over a lifetime as I can imagine you know very well. It seeps into all my relationships whether I’m mad at myself or not. Accepting love. Maybe my new mantra. Reading of your childhood trauma of being kicked out of your house on purpose felt so familiar I wanted to immediately wrap my arms around you and tell you that you are safe now. At the same time I felt a relief of knowing that yes that is true for you and for me. We have survived our childhoods and are still healing but overall thriving. I feel gratitude in that. And grateful that I get to share this life with someone like you who has this gift of writing. Writing in a way that when I read your words I get to not only know you better and deeper but also know myself as your writing puts my own life of trauma and chaos into tangible sentences that express what I don’t have the ability to say. Your words are so healing and so powerful. What a gift of life you are. And I get to hug you tomorrow! I love you!💕
This is a wonderful piece Jocelyn. As a native Californian I've been by Half Moon Bay on occasion but my wife and I are more partial to nearby Cambria. I love your description of nurturing in action by the other person cleaning up--I'm normally the one riffing numerous f***s when something goes wrong and my wife is quick to come to my aid (or tired of the f***s). Your embodied writing describing your 10-year-old self had me tearing up. So sorry you had to experience that but love your vulnerability in sharing.
Thank you, Steve. Cambria is a gorgeous piece of the coast. I mean, there isn't really any of the CA coastline I don't love. I went to UCLA and visited my mom in Santa Cruz, so I drove Highway 1 to see her all the time. One of my all time favorite things to do. We're lucky to be native to CA, aren't we? (I'm technically a transplant, I arrived when I was 18 months old.) And thank you for the kind words. It means the world to me when something I experienced and share touches someone else. And a huge thank you to you for becoming a paid subscriber! You made my day! 🙏
Wow right back.❤️ thank you for such vulnerable words. This made me tear up, "Writing in a way that when I read your words I get to not only know you better and deeper but also know myself as your writing puts my own life of trauma and chaos into tangible sentences that express what I don’t have the ability to say." Thank you so much for saying that honey. THAT is the reason I write here. I deeply believe that healing is a lot of solo effort, but there is also such powerful healing in the presence of others and their stories. Thank you thank you, for your support and reading and telling me how it feels for you. It means the world to me. One more sleep and we get to see each other! xo
Your vulnerability is remarkable. Hugging your little dear ten year old self. My daughter is 10! Gosh🥹 Gorgeous words💛Thank you!
Oh thank _you_. That means the world to me because it was so so so hard for so many years to be vulnerable or talk about any of it. My little ten year old self loves the hug! Squeeze your daughter extra for me. ❤️
I will!💛 Keep going girl! You’re doing so great!! You are actually such “a boss.” As my girl would say. Fierce 🔥
Thank you!!! That all makes me feel so good. Having a day today where I'm feeling not so much like a boss, and I needed some extra love - thank you!❤️✨
I think that 10-year-old girl sat there waiting for her father to show some compassion and let her in. Isn't that why we always stayed -- to see if they changed? This is beautiful, Jocelyn. And the spatula is the best part, and left for the chef. xo
Oh my god. That's so true, "Isn't that why we always stayed -- to see if they changed?" Thank you so much for the kind words. I loved the spatula part too! Both the doing of it and the writing of it later. :)
Ummm wow. So much wow. First this “ He offered me hugs as well, but when I am feeling angry at myself, it is almost impossible for me to accept love” hit deep. So deep I saw myself as if in a mirror. So many years of not being able to accept love. I felt the loss of this love over a lifetime as I can imagine you know very well. It seeps into all my relationships whether I’m mad at myself or not. Accepting love. Maybe my new mantra. Reading of your childhood trauma of being kicked out of your house on purpose felt so familiar I wanted to immediately wrap my arms around you and tell you that you are safe now. At the same time I felt a relief of knowing that yes that is true for you and for me. We have survived our childhoods and are still healing but overall thriving. I feel gratitude in that. And grateful that I get to share this life with someone like you who has this gift of writing. Writing in a way that when I read your words I get to not only know you better and deeper but also know myself as your writing puts my own life of trauma and chaos into tangible sentences that express what I don’t have the ability to say. Your words are so healing and so powerful. What a gift of life you are. And I get to hug you tomorrow! I love you!💕
Slickery is a wonder. You have such a gift for mingling the material world with the inner world.
Oh that’s such a lovely compliment. Thank you, Susie!❤️
This is a wonderful piece Jocelyn. As a native Californian I've been by Half Moon Bay on occasion but my wife and I are more partial to nearby Cambria. I love your description of nurturing in action by the other person cleaning up--I'm normally the one riffing numerous f***s when something goes wrong and my wife is quick to come to my aid (or tired of the f***s). Your embodied writing describing your 10-year-old self had me tearing up. So sorry you had to experience that but love your vulnerability in sharing.