Thank you for articulating so many of the questions that have been crowding my head, and for sharing your answers to them. I feel so much the "what is the point?" question with respect to the traditional/typical forms of resistance that feel available to me. And I have trouble seeing my writing as resistance, maybe in a "who was I to think I could wear them?" kind of way. (Who am I to think that my writing really does anything that needs doing right now?) I've begun to think that a lot of us are having/getting to learn a whole new way of being in the world. What is resistance when you are powerless to change the things you really, really, really wish could be changed? What is it good for? The things I can do sure aren't good for changing the things I don't like. Maybe they are just for learning and teaching about how to endure them? I'm not sure, but I really appreciate your words here, and they are helping me at the beginning of another day of living through this time. And I'm cheering your Iris Apfel glasses writing ambitions! Yeah, say them out loud, and then go for it. Thanks for teaching this human a bit about how to be human today.
Oh Rita, you speak right to my heart. "I've begun to think that a lot of us are having/getting to learn a whole new way of being in the world. What is resistance when you are powerless to change the things you really, really, really wish could be changed? What is it good for?" Yes yes yes. And I think there is great power in not just enduring but practicing a quiet determination to thrive under adverse conditions. And that can be done in the smallest of ways, in the tiniest celebrations, but that energy reverberates. I truly believe that. And thank you thank you for the encouragement and support! It is so lovely to be seen and supported in this audacious dream!
And I'm moved by you saying this, "Thanks for teaching this human a bit about how to be human today." thank you thank you right back for the same thing. ❤️🙏🎈
"What I'm trying to say, dear reader, is keep going because the point is to keep going. The point is to be broken and hurting and devastated and humbled and moved and elated, joyous, ecstatic, excited, tired, rested, all of it, every single day, and then to keep going with as much love and kindness as we can muster towards ourselves first and then towards others. To keep going is an act of resistance and it is how we teach ourselves, and each other, to be human in a world that is stripping away our shared humanity." You are a seeker, a truth-teller and a gorgeous human! <3
Hi Donna! I'm so glad that made you laugh! I almost took it out because the rest of the essay was kind of serious, but now I am so glad I left it in. You are so very welcome, thank YOU for showing up here so consistently, I'm always so pleased and grateful to see your name in the comments. xoxoxo
I love this Jocelyn and good for you for saying out loud your audacious goals; I can so see those publications wanting your work. Beautiful words here; they wrap around me like a warm blanket, giving me hope in a rather bleak world these days. The convo with father & son (and even your funny admission of knowing nothing about tennis or golf) was a delight and oh, how you stuck that landing beautifully. I am here to say; your writing matters. My writing matters. Each of our lives matters and all our unique gifts. We’d be more bereft without them and the world, too. More than ever, we have to remind ourselves that it is more important than ever to create something beautiful and true.
I felt your whole comment, Amy and am so grateful for your words and for you. And then I read this and got chill bumps everywhere, "We’d be more bereft without them and the world, too. More than ever, we have to remind ourselves that it is more important than ever to create something beautiful and true." yes yes yes yes. It feels like a small prayer. Thank you.
JOCELYN, I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR WRITING INTO THE DISCOMFORT OF RESISTANCE ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ I’ve gotten to the point where I need at least one tiny chocolate egg of resistance in everything I read these days. Anything else makes me feel complicit. Anything else feels bad for my mental health.
I love the way you’re doing it. I love your writing and look forward to finding the turn in every post.
Thank you for speaking your dream to publish in the Sun. I believe you will. I believe, I believe. Your voice is so Sun-ny 🌞 (Pssst… this is my dream too. And also? I dream of launching my substack and writing into the discomfort of resistance with you, soon, too.) xoxoxo
Oh my gosh this just made my morning. It's early and I'm in that space where I'm wondering what it all means and what do I write about next and why, and then I see you and this beyond wonderful note. THANK YOU. I love this, "a tiny chocolate egg of resistance." And I fully get the complicit feeling. I sit by the pool and think, what am I doing here? The world is on fire. But then, it doesn't do the world any good if I'm on fire too. So I said something kind to some strangers who may or may not have voted for the current insanity and I felt like that is the start I need to make. Bridging that gap and finding commonalities. I can't be both the problem (otherizing) and the solution (love).
And this, "I love your writing and look forward to finding the turn in every post." Squeee. That just makes me so delighted. I think turns are so hard and I don't know that I do them very well and so both the love and the fact that you think I have turns really helped this morning.
And yes to speaking the dreams. I love that you spoke yours too!! And thank you for the belief (there's power in that. ❤️🙏) and the compliment that my voice is Sun-y!! Wow!
I know you can do anything you dream of, sweet friend, Sun, Substack, resistance, discomfort, love. You are powerful beyond powerful and you are loved infinitely. xoxox
I’m up and writing! I’m so inspired by this exchange. Very quickly, so that I stick to my creative writing time, I just want to say I adore and agree with all this. And also… as a reader it does me good to read that people feel, at least sometimes, like they’re on fire about this burning world. The question is how do we channel it? Love keeps telling me, “You can’t fight contempt with contempt.” And that, “Your great challenge in this life is to feel hated without hating back.” This is why I’ve been quiet on Substack lately. I’ve been a wildfire of rage inside. Maybe the trick is to know the difference between being a firestorm 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥and a controlled burn ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥🧯🧯🧯. Love you, my friend.
OHMYGOSH YAYYYYYYYYY!!! This just makes my whole month, my sweet friend! I'm sending you so much air full of love and inspiration and groundedness to stoke your controlled burn. I truly love that visual. It feels very much like what I'm trying to do, a controlled burn of love and commitment to the beautiful people and things in my life. Like a huge pilot light that needs to be tended to carefully, lest it go out and I am just then in total darkness. A firestorm comes and goes leaving devastation in its wake, but a controlled burn has sustainability and produces sustainability in the entire ecosystem--it produces more life and sustenance. I love love love this metaphor!
And yes, 100% on fire. Waking up every day is a struggle. But then, I just try and put one, small, lovely thing in front of me and breathe. That's how I'm getting through.
One of the small gifts given me by the Great Love of My Life was a little quote thingamajig that said, "Never, ever, ever give up. Winston Churchill." Somehow, that's how I'm still here. One foot in front of the other. Eventually, I'll get round to putting all the pieces of my life together and I'll call it a book and then I may do something with it. Or not. I don't know. I get started and life shifts and changes and so do I and so does my "take" on all of it. I get the publisher conundrum. I want a real book by a real publisher and an editor and an agent and a million dollar contract and . . . you get the idea. Also a big fan of Anne Lamott but not too much. We all have a voice that sounds like us and we just have to find it. On the other hand, it's nice to hear someone write the way I often think. Best of all that's good to you while we all practice on Substack.
Dawn, I love this, "I'll get round to putting all the pieces of my life together and I'll call it a book and then I may do something with it. Or not. I don't know. I get started and life shifts and changes and so do I and so does my "take" on all of it. " It does shift, doesn't it?
And this, "We all have a voice that sounds like us and we just have to find it." yes!
Thank you for the kind wishes and for sharing your own publishing wants and desires. xoxo
“The point is to be broken and hurting and devastated and humbled and moved and elated, joyous, ecstatic, excited, tired, rested, all of it, every single day, and then to keep going with as much love and kindness as we can muster towards ourselves first and then towards others.” Yes! Outstanding.
Hi BB! I'm so glad to hear that. I never know, really, if what I'm saying will resonate, but I hope and it's always just the biggest gift when someone, and someone new!, tells me it did. And that it was helpful. So thank you right back. This made my day. ❤️
I do get that. I have concern too, that for the first time in my life, if I say something against this current administration, that one day it might be used against me. It's terrifying in a way I can't really even comprehend.
I’m not new Jocelyn. I just changed my username and photo. I’m getting a little nervous about my online presence and after googling myself decided I needed a little more anonymity. I’ve been following you for a while and always appreciate your deep insights.
I’m glad it made your day. It’s always gratifying to know our words make a difference.
Oh I recognize you now that I see your full name! Isn't that funny how the brain works. I clicked on your profile to see if I could find your first name and didn't recognize the photo and obv there wasn't a first name. You did a great job of going incognito. I understand the nerves about exposure online.
Thank you for the kind words and for being here, under the radar or otherwise. ❤️
I also would hug Annie. What a national treasure that woman is- she speaks truth into every corner of my heart, and I laugh at the painful beauty of it. And sweet sister, SO DO YOU. Go get the Salon, the Sun, the full audacious recognition that you are worthy of. I'll be cry-cheering over here with my hands in the air. 🙌💙🎉✨️
Awww Kendall, my sweet sweet friend and champion. Thank you! ;) And this was just beatufiul, "I laugh at the painful beauty of it" mmmm. Just deliciously put. ❤️🙏🎈🪅
"What I'm trying to say, dear reader, is keep going because the point is to keep going. The point is to be broken and hurting and devastated and humbled and moved and elated, joyous, ecstatic, excited, tired, rested, all of it, every single day, and then to keep going with as much love and kindness as we can muster towards ourselves first and then towards others. To keep going is an act of resistance and it is how we teach ourselves, and each other, to be human in a world that is stripping away our shared humanity"
What is my act of resistance? Still being here, being alive, being present in all my 68 year old LGB+TQIA2S glory waiting on a divorce after 25 years and learning yet again that I am as worthy as anyone else on this planet
SO MUCH YES. I have chill bumps all over, Andrea. Also, tears. I feel you so much here and I am so grateful you commented, because now I get to see you and celebrate you and be present to how incredible and worthy you are. 🌟🙏❤️
Jocelyn, writing resistance through joy, love, and kindness will no doubt get your beautiful words into Salon and The Sun. Keep being your audacious self and it will happen! Thank you for the encouragement you write.
Thank you for articulating so many of the questions that have been crowding my head, and for sharing your answers to them. I feel so much the "what is the point?" question with respect to the traditional/typical forms of resistance that feel available to me. And I have trouble seeing my writing as resistance, maybe in a "who was I to think I could wear them?" kind of way. (Who am I to think that my writing really does anything that needs doing right now?) I've begun to think that a lot of us are having/getting to learn a whole new way of being in the world. What is resistance when you are powerless to change the things you really, really, really wish could be changed? What is it good for? The things I can do sure aren't good for changing the things I don't like. Maybe they are just for learning and teaching about how to endure them? I'm not sure, but I really appreciate your words here, and they are helping me at the beginning of another day of living through this time. And I'm cheering your Iris Apfel glasses writing ambitions! Yeah, say them out loud, and then go for it. Thanks for teaching this human a bit about how to be human today.
Oh Rita, you speak right to my heart. "I've begun to think that a lot of us are having/getting to learn a whole new way of being in the world. What is resistance when you are powerless to change the things you really, really, really wish could be changed? What is it good for?" Yes yes yes. And I think there is great power in not just enduring but practicing a quiet determination to thrive under adverse conditions. And that can be done in the smallest of ways, in the tiniest celebrations, but that energy reverberates. I truly believe that. And thank you thank you for the encouragement and support! It is so lovely to be seen and supported in this audacious dream!
And I'm moved by you saying this, "Thanks for teaching this human a bit about how to be human today." thank you thank you right back for the same thing. ❤️🙏🎈
I'm going to borrow some of your faith in the reverberations until I develop more of my own. ☺️ I'm working on it!
that's the only way to do it!! My reverberations are your reverberations. xoxoxo
THIS!!! Thank you for THIS Jocelyn:
"What I'm trying to say, dear reader, is keep going because the point is to keep going. The point is to be broken and hurting and devastated and humbled and moved and elated, joyous, ecstatic, excited, tired, rested, all of it, every single day, and then to keep going with as much love and kindness as we can muster towards ourselves first and then towards others. To keep going is an act of resistance and it is how we teach ourselves, and each other, to be human in a world that is stripping away our shared humanity." You are a seeker, a truth-teller and a gorgeous human! <3
Oh Lisa THANK YOU! I'm so so glad that resonated and thank you for the deliciously kind words there at the end. ;) You made me smile so big. xoxoxo.
The convo in your head about McIlroy/McEnroe had me falling off my chair🤣 That would be the same conversation I would have too.
Thanks for this Jocelyn, let us keep showing up.
Hi Donna! I'm so glad that made you laugh! I almost took it out because the rest of the essay was kind of serious, but now I am so glad I left it in. You are so very welcome, thank YOU for showing up here so consistently, I'm always so pleased and grateful to see your name in the comments. xoxoxo
I love this Jocelyn and good for you for saying out loud your audacious goals; I can so see those publications wanting your work. Beautiful words here; they wrap around me like a warm blanket, giving me hope in a rather bleak world these days. The convo with father & son (and even your funny admission of knowing nothing about tennis or golf) was a delight and oh, how you stuck that landing beautifully. I am here to say; your writing matters. My writing matters. Each of our lives matters and all our unique gifts. We’d be more bereft without them and the world, too. More than ever, we have to remind ourselves that it is more important than ever to create something beautiful and true.
I felt your whole comment, Amy and am so grateful for your words and for you. And then I read this and got chill bumps everywhere, "We’d be more bereft without them and the world, too. More than ever, we have to remind ourselves that it is more important than ever to create something beautiful and true." yes yes yes yes. It feels like a small prayer. Thank you.
JOCELYN, I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR WRITING INTO THE DISCOMFORT OF RESISTANCE ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ I’ve gotten to the point where I need at least one tiny chocolate egg of resistance in everything I read these days. Anything else makes me feel complicit. Anything else feels bad for my mental health.
I love the way you’re doing it. I love your writing and look forward to finding the turn in every post.
Thank you for speaking your dream to publish in the Sun. I believe you will. I believe, I believe. Your voice is so Sun-ny 🌞 (Pssst… this is my dream too. And also? I dream of launching my substack and writing into the discomfort of resistance with you, soon, too.) xoxoxo
Oh my gosh this just made my morning. It's early and I'm in that space where I'm wondering what it all means and what do I write about next and why, and then I see you and this beyond wonderful note. THANK YOU. I love this, "a tiny chocolate egg of resistance." And I fully get the complicit feeling. I sit by the pool and think, what am I doing here? The world is on fire. But then, it doesn't do the world any good if I'm on fire too. So I said something kind to some strangers who may or may not have voted for the current insanity and I felt like that is the start I need to make. Bridging that gap and finding commonalities. I can't be both the problem (otherizing) and the solution (love).
And this, "I love your writing and look forward to finding the turn in every post." Squeee. That just makes me so delighted. I think turns are so hard and I don't know that I do them very well and so both the love and the fact that you think I have turns really helped this morning.
And yes to speaking the dreams. I love that you spoke yours too!! And thank you for the belief (there's power in that. ❤️🙏) and the compliment that my voice is Sun-y!! Wow!
I know you can do anything you dream of, sweet friend, Sun, Substack, resistance, discomfort, love. You are powerful beyond powerful and you are loved infinitely. xoxox
I’m up and writing! I’m so inspired by this exchange. Very quickly, so that I stick to my creative writing time, I just want to say I adore and agree with all this. And also… as a reader it does me good to read that people feel, at least sometimes, like they’re on fire about this burning world. The question is how do we channel it? Love keeps telling me, “You can’t fight contempt with contempt.” And that, “Your great challenge in this life is to feel hated without hating back.” This is why I’ve been quiet on Substack lately. I’ve been a wildfire of rage inside. Maybe the trick is to know the difference between being a firestorm 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥and a controlled burn ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥🧯🧯🧯. Love you, my friend.
OHMYGOSH YAYYYYYYYYY!!! This just makes my whole month, my sweet friend! I'm sending you so much air full of love and inspiration and groundedness to stoke your controlled burn. I truly love that visual. It feels very much like what I'm trying to do, a controlled burn of love and commitment to the beautiful people and things in my life. Like a huge pilot light that needs to be tended to carefully, lest it go out and I am just then in total darkness. A firestorm comes and goes leaving devastation in its wake, but a controlled burn has sustainability and produces sustainability in the entire ecosystem--it produces more life and sustenance. I love love love this metaphor!
And yes, 100% on fire. Waking up every day is a struggle. But then, I just try and put one, small, lovely thing in front of me and breathe. That's how I'm getting through.
xoxoxo so much love to you!
PS: McEnroe 😂 😂 😂
That made me laugh out loud. :)
One of the small gifts given me by the Great Love of My Life was a little quote thingamajig that said, "Never, ever, ever give up. Winston Churchill." Somehow, that's how I'm still here. One foot in front of the other. Eventually, I'll get round to putting all the pieces of my life together and I'll call it a book and then I may do something with it. Or not. I don't know. I get started and life shifts and changes and so do I and so does my "take" on all of it. I get the publisher conundrum. I want a real book by a real publisher and an editor and an agent and a million dollar contract and . . . you get the idea. Also a big fan of Anne Lamott but not too much. We all have a voice that sounds like us and we just have to find it. On the other hand, it's nice to hear someone write the way I often think. Best of all that's good to you while we all practice on Substack.
Dawn, I love this, "I'll get round to putting all the pieces of my life together and I'll call it a book and then I may do something with it. Or not. I don't know. I get started and life shifts and changes and so do I and so does my "take" on all of it. " It does shift, doesn't it?
And this, "We all have a voice that sounds like us and we just have to find it." yes!
Thank you for the kind wishes and for sharing your own publishing wants and desires. xoxo
“The point is to be broken and hurting and devastated and humbled and moved and elated, joyous, ecstatic, excited, tired, rested, all of it, every single day, and then to keep going with as much love and kindness as we can muster towards ourselves first and then towards others.” Yes! Outstanding.
Oh thank you! For the resonance and for the compliment. ❤️
Thank you, Jocelyn. I needed this encouragement. 🙏🏻
Hi BB! I'm so glad to hear that. I never know, really, if what I'm saying will resonate, but I hope and it's always just the biggest gift when someone, and someone new!, tells me it did. And that it was helpful. So thank you right back. This made my day. ❤️
I’m trying not to be paranoid but we live in very strange and unsettling times. I’m glad you figured it out. 🥰❤️
I do get that. I have concern too, that for the first time in my life, if I say something against this current administration, that one day it might be used against me. It's terrifying in a way I can't really even comprehend.
I’m not new Jocelyn. I just changed my username and photo. I’m getting a little nervous about my online presence and after googling myself decided I needed a little more anonymity. I’ve been following you for a while and always appreciate your deep insights.
I’m glad it made your day. It’s always gratifying to know our words make a difference.
❤️Beth Bruno
Oh I recognize you now that I see your full name! Isn't that funny how the brain works. I clicked on your profile to see if I could find your first name and didn't recognize the photo and obv there wasn't a first name. You did a great job of going incognito. I understand the nerves about exposure online.
Thank you for the kind words and for being here, under the radar or otherwise. ❤️
I also would hug Annie. What a national treasure that woman is- she speaks truth into every corner of my heart, and I laugh at the painful beauty of it. And sweet sister, SO DO YOU. Go get the Salon, the Sun, the full audacious recognition that you are worthy of. I'll be cry-cheering over here with my hands in the air. 🙌💙🎉✨️
Awww Kendall, my sweet sweet friend and champion. Thank you! ;) And this was just beatufiul, "I laugh at the painful beauty of it" mmmm. Just deliciously put. ❤️🙏🎈🪅
"What I'm trying to say, dear reader, is keep going because the point is to keep going. The point is to be broken and hurting and devastated and humbled and moved and elated, joyous, ecstatic, excited, tired, rested, all of it, every single day, and then to keep going with as much love and kindness as we can muster towards ourselves first and then towards others. To keep going is an act of resistance and it is how we teach ourselves, and each other, to be human in a world that is stripping away our shared humanity"
What is my act of resistance? Still being here, being alive, being present in all my 68 year old LGB+TQIA2S glory waiting on a divorce after 25 years and learning yet again that I am as worthy as anyone else on this planet
SO MUCH YES. I have chill bumps all over, Andrea. Also, tears. I feel you so much here and I am so grateful you commented, because now I get to see you and celebrate you and be present to how incredible and worthy you are. 🌟🙏❤️
😭 Thank you for recognizing me
You are so very welcome. xoxo
Jocelyn, writing resistance through joy, love, and kindness will no doubt get your beautiful words into Salon and The Sun. Keep being your audacious self and it will happen! Thank you for the encouragement you write.