"What was it like?" I wanted to ask.
For so long I have wanted to sing out loud.
Hello Beautifuls!
Welcome to all of you wonderful new subscribers this week and everyone who’s been here for a while! I am humbled and delighted that so many of you are spending time here with me (it’s a big world out there) and taking time to subscribe and read and comment.
It is all of you who are making this community what it is.
I am thrilled all of you are here. Your love and support and conversations mean the world to me. 🙏
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It got me thinking, one of the subjects I keep coming back to (why we wear the clothes we wear) came from a reader’s response on someone else’s Substack — I wish I could remember who’s, but I can’t. And these days, unlike in my 30s and 40s, I will try to look for it, but also, I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to remember everything and I can be gentle with myself on this if I don’t find it.
(Note: I found it looking for something else. I LOVE how the universe does that sometimes. It was
way back in March of this year and you can read my first response to the question here.)So this week, I want to know what you want to hear about. What things do you wish I would write about? Or write more about?
I’ll give you some things to choose from, but don’t limit yourself. These are pieces I’ve started, whole paragraphs that don’t yet have an essay to call home, beginnings of poems that may or may not turn into something else.
But feel free to put your own subjects in the comments! And WITDers, feel free to give close reads! 💖
ONE: The paragraph that has no home:
I looked down in time to see the still body of a pelican in the sand. "This one." I thought. "This one fished and flew and dove. This one touched clouds and maybe angels. Maybe even God. "What was it like?" I wanted to ask. I studied her wings, her beak, her perfect webbed feet. They were laid out flat, each the size of a child's hand, dark brown and etched with scales. As I walked away, I pictured them tucked up against her belly in flight.
TWO: On Moving Into Our Own Skin
In Letters From Love (LFL) this week, I asked Love to tell me about becoming. This is an excerpt from my full letter:
You are becoming the trees, the water, the rain, the sorrow, the joy, the ancients, the deer, the fox, the caterpillar.
We love watching you move into your skin, watching you feel your body become softer and more real to you. Watching you move into your heart, and seeing how that scares you and makes you wonder how to be in this world without breaking apart and we want you to know it is all about breaking open. We said to you last week about sheltering from the storm, that it is about going into the storm. Well, my love, you are also becoming the storm.
You are becoming beautiful to yourself.
✨
In the comments over on LFL
asked me, “Can you describe the moving into your skin more?”This question is very juicy for me and I’m wondering if it’s interesting to anyone else?
Or, tell me if you want to know more about anything else in that snippet?❤️
THREE: For So Long
For so long I have wanted to sing out loud,
to break fear over my knee
like a dead branch ready for the burn pile.For so long I have wanted to be her or him or no one,
but feel a pull now to be only myself,
for the time feels shorter, the urgency acute, sharp.For so long I have wanted to live here and see the beauty,
touch the things that make this all real,
before they are gone.For so long I have wanted time to move faster,
to be somewhere different,
somewhere better or new.
And now, I long only to be where things are rooted, old,
somewhere I am tethered to the earth,
where at night, I can listen as the owls tell me their stories.
✨
This piece is a little snippet from a writing exercise by
. It seems like a poemish thing now, but could become part of an essay, or a full poem, or something else entirely.Anyone curious to hear what else might come from finishing the sentence, “For so long…”?
I would love to hear comments and feelings and close reads of any of these little pieces. How they made you feel or what they made you wonder about or think about. What they stirred in you.
And I would love to know what you would like to hear more about. What resonates with you right now in this moment?
I am so grateful and delighted and humbled by all of you and your presence here, your beautiful, wise, insightful and vulnerable comments.
Thank you, with my whole being, for being here with me. This space makes my life so rich and full of love and joy.
I cannot wait to hear from you in the comments!
xoxox
j
And now for a fashion question. Please scroll down and CAST YOUR VOTE. 😍
And if you want to read more of my thoughts on clothes and why they are so important to us, here you go:
THE FASION QUESTION: Should I keep this ridiculous, and also super fun, jacket?
See you in the comments, Beautifuls! xo
Can I be subversive and say all 3 please?! ;) As for the jacket, I think it looks fabulous on you - and very on point with the glasses. But what matters more is how you feel in it. If this is a serious question, and not just fun engagement— I say this next part in the most *lovingly dangerous* way (you know what I mean)—I’d love to read a fourth piece on your impulse to check in with others about keeping the jacket, in addition to checking in with yourself. Because I do this too, less so now, but still, and I’m trying to do it even less. It could either be part of the stepping into your beauty piece, or a stand alone piece.
And maybe this is where you’re going with the singing one, but I’d love to read about you finding your voice. As a writer, and as a 50-something woman, which feels verrrrrrry topical and refreshing right now 😅 xoxoxo
If it’s fun and brings you joy, you need to keep it:)