For whatever it's worth, I think you can choose kindness without ignoring differences. Kindness and anger can co-exist. Sometimes I wonder if all our problems here stem from a general inability to simultaneously hold more than one seemingly incompatible truths. We sure do love our binaries here in the US. What place might we be in now if we could be honest about the origins of our country, if we could make it OK to both admire what's admirable AND condemn what's contemptible? How much has our inability to be honest about the Civil War and those who fought it contributed to where we find ourselves now? I think we were in such a hurry to reconcile after that conflict that we never had a full reckoning with what caused it. I want to be kind to people (though I've for sure had my lady in the park moments!), but I also don't want to let them off the hook in the name of some kind of shallow peace. We can love (as a verb) people who voted for Trump while holding them accountable for the destruction their action is going to result in. Has already resulted in. Maybe that's a much deeper, truer kind of love than soothing all our feelings is? I'm not sure. Like you, I'm figuring this out as we go, and it's early days. Sending you love, Jocelyn. I appreciate your kind and tender heart.
Yes! Rita you said it so well, that's what I'm trying to get at. This, "Maybe that's a much deeper, truer kind of love than soothing all our feelings is" and "Kindness and anger can co-exist." yes! And I wholeheartedly agree that we would be in such a different place if people could accept the history of this country and _live_ with it, rather than numb themselves with denial or hate or moving on. None of that works. It is ALL about holding the remarkable and often almost unbearable truth that we are all the things all at once, grieving and joyful, kind and angry, loving and hateful.
You've really helped me see some of what I'm trying to say around this subject and this time in our history and lives. I want to come from a place of love, for my own survival and as a pathway, as a vehicle for shifting my own binary tendencies to believe that someone who voted for Trump is 100% bad and deserving of my hate. I refuse to give up my right to love wholeheartedly because other people don't or can't or won't. That means love them in a way that considers our shared humanity, love them for their being human, but not a blanket panacea that ignores the damage, that ignores behavior that harms other humans, animals, plants, all of it. Like you said, a love that goes deeper, that is for all things AND that also holds the darkness and the pain and the grieving we will be doing in the next few years.
There is no room for shallow peace - I love how you said that, because I think shallow peace is what's gotten us here. This inability to hold both love and darkness, the inability to really look at ourselves and what we do to others. I think that is the key to what is killing us right now. Our (and by our, I mostly mean people who voted for trump) desperate need to be comfortable and righteous and our belief that power-over somehow makes us powerful.
I am really not sure we'll ever get out of this downward spiral, but I also won't give up trying to be the light.
Thank you sharing your thoughts and for the kind words. I'm sending you love too, Rita. xo
Yes, Jocelyn, exactly how I feel, too: :I refuse to give up my right to love wholeheartedly because other people don't or can't or won't. That means love them in a way that considers our shared humanity, love them for their being human, but not a blanket panacea that ignores the damage, that ignores behavior that harms other humans, animals, plants, all of it."
I love what you took from my words and added to them. I've been struggling to work out my thoughts. I don't expect to feel that I have landed in a solid place right away, but you've helped me walk a bit further down the path.
Yes, I feel the same way about your words. Walking down this path together to find some solid ground. That feels really nice, in a week where not a lot has felt good. Thank you, friend. ❤️
Oh yes, well, it was only one encounter. I'm not over the bridge yet. And I don't see any signs in my neighborhood. The only ones here are for Harris/Waltz, which I think is interesting. Keep flipping off the houses with yard signs. I'm still right there with you. ❤️
Thank you for your honesty and your heart. I hear you. I’ve been moving through similar emotions and am trying to center into ‘sacred rage’ to channel the whole nasty soup into art and love and community. 💙
Yes yes yes. Channeling the nasty soup into creation and love and community. That is really the only answer besides living inside rage and futility. Sigh. Sending you love.
Bridges made from eggs... yes, that feels about right. This was a mirror, and I thank you for it. I've been scapegoating a friend of mine who voted for Trump- one of those unexpected gut punches from a woman I thought shared my values. And I just keep raging at her in my head. But I'm realizing that I need to be able to feel all of that confusion and anger and betrayal and ALSO love her, all the broken pieces of her and all the contradictions.... I need to look her in the eye and see a fellow soul, no less worthy than anyone else. Sigh. This is freaking hard. ❤️🩹
oh this gave me chills, Kendall. What you're working on is so hard. It's one thing when it's a stranger, wholly another when it's a friend. It's so beautiful and a testament to your bravery and huge heart that you are even willing to try to love her and hold the betrayal and anger at the same time. I'm sending you and your heart so much love and mending. And this, this is beautiful, "I need to look her in the eye and see a fellow soul, no less worthy than anyone else." that's exactly it and it is so freaking hard. love love love to you my sweet friend.
Thank you, Jocelyn. ❤️ I think the enormity of the potential disasters is far, far too large for us to grasp, so we zero in on more immediate disappointments.... which I have so much grace for, but I just don't want to live with that acid in my belly. Thanks again for the great reminder here. xoxo
Kendall have you seen George Saunders’ last post? He holds Trump voters accountable - and he says it with love. What a skill. I’m trying to cultivate that.
“For those of you who voted for Trump, I’d just say, in the most loving way: Friends, you’re on the hook.
It's your movement now.
It's on us too, of course, on those of us who were and are against what he stands for – but you have a special role in whatever happens next. No excuses: he made it very clear what he intended, and you gave him a mandate to do it.
So, when and if the rounding up of undocumented immigrants begins, and it’s brutal, that’s on you. When and if he comes for those “enemies from within,” that’s on you. When and if people on the periphery (gay people, trans people) suffer, when the economy tanks, because tariffs are a terrible idea, when we jettison even our currently ineffective attempts to reverse climate change, when women’s reproductive healthcare continues to degrade…well, I’m sorry to say so, but you voted for all of that.
Beautiful Jocelyn, thank you. "The golden light is all of you" and it is you too! Light will slowly, eventually, overtake the darkness. "The only way we will survive this is by finding the small bridges that connect us and walking towards one another across them." You are 1000% right.
Thank you, Lisa. ❤️It hit me today and I wrote more on this, but didn't feel it was ready to share as a post, that what we need to do is sit together, physically. Rooms full of people across the US who voted differently from each other, and find the things we have in common. Like the exercise guides sometimes do at retreats where you all stand in a circle and the leader offers up an experience, and anyone who's had that experience steps into the center of the circle. It's an object lesson in shared experience and then it's harder to dehumanize each other. I can see this in my mind playing out in rooms all over the country as a solution to the divide that traditional and social media have created. A fearful population is so easy to control. Sigh. But how and who would ever make those rooms happen?
Rooms full of people... what a beautiful vision but like you said, how is the likely stumbling block. Besides, not sure there is an appetite for those on "the other side", at least not yet, at least not until the ramifications from the new administration are felt by them.
I think you're right. I think it will be a while before anyone is ready and I wonder how the ramifications will make it harder for those who are willing. It's just so amazing to me how we got here. Because it happened in a way that felt very out of my hands - not in a sitting on them way, but social media and our blind allegiance to it and the consumerism it drives and the corporate take over of media. It was so big and swift, I'm not sure how we could have held it back or done differently. I think it speaks to how fragile our time here really is.
“I mean loving humanity anyway”. With a week off of work for the holiday break I am finally having time to catch up on reading your pieces. This sentence really got me. Its simplicity and its depth of meaning. To love our human neighbors in spite of everything is simple yet powerful and makes me feel hope. Thank you. I love you 💕
I'm so glad you're here! And thank you for that. I am so happy to hear it made you feel hope. I think we all need to find the people who do that for us and get closer, open up and help each other feel love and hopefulness. xoxoxo
I felt exactly the same way. I walked the sidewalks in my town and couldn't look anyone in the eye. I felt unsafe. I felt unsafe in my own country, as if the enemy were everywhere. I've gone back and forth between separating the people from the "opinion' they have, and then feeling outright disgust for the pompous arrogance in anyone who could vote for pompous arrogance. But just like in the candidate they chose, the pompous arrogance (or , in some voters, just bewildered ignorance) is the signature of a frightened ego state. I can feel compassion for that.
In 2016 after the election which horrified me, I had two dreams about 'the elected one'. In both dreams, he was a member of my own family, a relative. When I woke up, I couldn't deny that the feeling about 'that person' was a fondness, not a hatred.
I have not wanted to get all pseudo-spiritual about this and feign an inauthentic love or forgiveness, so I have been very careful in my personal, deep exploration. My current status is one that feels at peace, at least for the moment. I am no longer fighting with the reality, and hence ,I no longer re-traumatize myself every time I read something about the intentions/choices of the upcoming administration. In one sense, I feel that all the dastardly, and heretofore shadowy and hidden, aspects of the US/world human population are now laid bare- out for all to see. No more denial. These aspects reflect a level of consciousness that human beings, as a whole, are being called out of. You can't heal what you won't feel.
Any one of us, by keeping our focus- our thoughts, behaviors, intentions- on a consciousness of truth, unity, compassion, and the kind of world we wish to create, can assist in the call. As I commit to this, the anger at the voters and the president-elect seems rather petty and useless. In the words of Jesus Christ 'father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
We have better things to think about and embody. We can offer ourselves to the rising , higher consciousness.
Oh Barbara, thank you for this. Your wisdom and words resonated so strongly and your call to action around keeping our focus on a consciousness of truth, unity, compassion and the world we wish to create. So much yes.
And this, "I am no longer fighting with the reality, and hence ,I no longer re-traumatize myself every time I read something" That's exactly it. I came to the same place of acceptance and not resistance.
And this, " feel that all the dastardly, and heretofore shadowy and hidden, aspects of the US/world human population are now laid bare- out for all to see. No more denial. " I was reading someone else's thoughts, I can't recall who right now, who said something similar. Like Americans have been in denial about how ugly it really is/can be. And I really do think, even though all of my spirit feels at odds with what's happening, that it has to happen. We have to see the darkness, it has to be fully present and out in the open for us to begin to accept that is is that dark, that humans contain so much grace and light and also so much dark. I think that's what we've been denying as a collective, that there is a darkness here and within humanity that we want to ignore.
I also love the dream you had. How powerful. I really do believe we are all light at our core, some of us are just on a journey of ego and consumption.
That's the journey here, as far as I can tell, to hold the idea that humans can be horrible and also beautiful and that everything is dying and being reborn over and over.
Those words from Jesus. yes yes yes. We need so much more compassion and forgiveness in this world.
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts. Your words really helped me this morning.
“Because do you know who loses when I close my heart off, after nearly two decades of re-learning how to open it? Me. And the people I want to be open with.”
Oh Jocelyn, this is exactly it for me. The learning, the decades, the hard work. I feel devastated but determined to not lose all the progress I’ve made, to not slide back on the hard fought human rights gained on our continent.
Here in Canada, a trumpy Conservative is poised to win the election next year because he’s a vote for change, even though he’s campaigning on “Eff Trudeau” (our prime minister), anti-wokism, climate denial, quietly setting things up to threaten abortion, politicize our judiciary, etc., etc. It feels very trumpy circa 2016, and we know where that leads if it’s not stopped.
I love, love, LOVE the egg bridge 🥚🥚🥚 and feeling like a crushed can someone pressed with their thumb and middle finger, not an acorn run over by a truck tire. So original. So GOOD.
The fuck you part made me laugh. So honest and satisfying. Give yourself credit—saying it inside the truck with the windows rolled up was an act of kindness 😇
It’s so special to be quoted by you. Thank you, my beautiful writer friend, for sharing how “resist with love” moved you. It moved me, too, when I downloaded it from Love. It’s helping me so much. It’s helping me tip away from shaming, contempt, and hate. (Ok when I said “trumpy” back there it was a bit shaming, but also accurate, no? A little mini, petty trump.$
Thank you for attributing Rachel Maddow. Here’s where she talks about recognizing your rage and grievance while also being kind and decent: https://youtu.be/-PmlFq4_yek?si=ZlTERNetO-E_Hgih [starts at 55:00]. It’s worth watching. She educates us on how to stand up to authoritarianism. I bought the book On Tyranny after I watched it. An essential checklist for our times.
I still let the rage flow through me. There’s so much of it. But I’m doing it by moshing around my house, angry-crying and lip syncing songs like Feminomenon, which my stepdaughter recommended the night she came over for the election. And the fact that we turned to each other that night is a beautiful thing.
Sorry for the loooong wait on a response. I love love love that you and your daughter turned to each other. That right there. That is divine and sacred and you and she have built that and no government can take that away. I'm sorry to hear cananda has a mini trump. The pendulum seems to swing in ever bigger arcs of division on what's important on this planet. I'm really digging into trying to be kind and do what I can in my little corner of the world.
Thank you for the close read! I'm so glad you mentioned and can and the acorn. It felt new to me too and so I also wasn't sure about it. Thank you for shouting it out.
I got On Tyranny too and I'll read Rachel's article as well. Thank you for the link.
I'm in gorgeous northern california this week, and right now am staring out at the coastal range between the bay area and the coast. it's amazing and peaceful and just what I needed.
You’ve read my mind, Jocelyn. The eloquent, elegant way you describe your thoughts absolutely reflects the way my mind is working right now. I’ve done so much soul searching and continue to do so and have tried to rid myself of the hate and resentment that have poisoned me. It’s still there but for a reason—do remind myself, that’s not me. I have the same lofty goals like—love everyone. That’s who we are friend, so I’m standing with you in love. Let’s lean into lofty goals.
Oh this made me cry. I am so lucky to have you in my life and be here on the page together with you and your heart. I like what you said about it being there for a reason and as the days keep marching on, I'm searching for the lesson, the meaning, the way forward that is even more grounded in love as resistance. community as resistance. art as resistance. I'm leaning with you, friend. 💜🙏
From the moment I saw your headline, I knew you were peeking into my own mind and heart, Jocelyn, and those of my friends who have reported the same thing. Suddenly we are in foreign territory, where other people, formerly a neighbor or store clerk or person walking down the street, could be one of those who voted against everything we hold dear and believe in. I get your anger and at the same time, like you, I am holding onto the tenderness of my heart and the knowledge that hate will get us nowhere--but compassion and empathy? Ah, that is the key to open every door to understanding and connection. Right now I am with you in wanting to keep that door closed (literally, I, too, couldn't bear to be out among "the people" in the immediate days after the election) but I know that if I don't open it, just as you so perfectly described it, the person who will be most hurt is myself.
This brought tears, Amy. It's so hard right now and you said it so well "Suddenly we are in foreign territory, where other people, formerly a neighbor or store clerk or person walking down the street, could be one of those who voted against everything we hold dear and believe in"
It's such a balance beam of stay open, be angry, open back up, feel the betrayal, open back up. it's exhausting. I got on my mat this morning and cried several times and just didn't want to do the practice. It's physically challenging and I'm tired. And it's also mentally challenging to keep returning my mind to my breath, to my body, to my soul. And so, I cried and felt how much I just didn't want to do all the things today and sat with myself and then moved through my practice and it felt good. It starts first with empathy for ourselves and what we are going through and then after that, we can tentatively go out our doors and try to extend it to others.
I love this line, "I am holding onto the tenderness of my heart and the knowledge that hate will get us nowhere." i have to remind myself of that over and over. But this especially, "the tenderness of my heart." that moves me. Thank you for bringing your tenderness here and sharing it. So much love to you.
Thank you Jocelyn, for being so honest and vulnerable and finding such a beautiful and true way to express these difficult emotions, and for all that you said here. I am glad you got on your mat. I think I need to do the same. At least get some minutes of walking in sunshine here in Florida if I can summon the energy. I have been suffering from a cold since election night and so it's a physical as well as emotional heaviness I am carrying.
This is honest and beautiful. We must find a way to be grateful for times that force us to discover the nuance of words like love and the complexity of words like kindness. You are doing that discovery here. What a blessing to get to benefit from it as your reader. Thank you, Jocelyn!
For whatever it's worth, I think you can choose kindness without ignoring differences. Kindness and anger can co-exist. Sometimes I wonder if all our problems here stem from a general inability to simultaneously hold more than one seemingly incompatible truths. We sure do love our binaries here in the US. What place might we be in now if we could be honest about the origins of our country, if we could make it OK to both admire what's admirable AND condemn what's contemptible? How much has our inability to be honest about the Civil War and those who fought it contributed to where we find ourselves now? I think we were in such a hurry to reconcile after that conflict that we never had a full reckoning with what caused it. I want to be kind to people (though I've for sure had my lady in the park moments!), but I also don't want to let them off the hook in the name of some kind of shallow peace. We can love (as a verb) people who voted for Trump while holding them accountable for the destruction their action is going to result in. Has already resulted in. Maybe that's a much deeper, truer kind of love than soothing all our feelings is? I'm not sure. Like you, I'm figuring this out as we go, and it's early days. Sending you love, Jocelyn. I appreciate your kind and tender heart.
Yes! Rita you said it so well, that's what I'm trying to get at. This, "Maybe that's a much deeper, truer kind of love than soothing all our feelings is" and "Kindness and anger can co-exist." yes! And I wholeheartedly agree that we would be in such a different place if people could accept the history of this country and _live_ with it, rather than numb themselves with denial or hate or moving on. None of that works. It is ALL about holding the remarkable and often almost unbearable truth that we are all the things all at once, grieving and joyful, kind and angry, loving and hateful.
You've really helped me see some of what I'm trying to say around this subject and this time in our history and lives. I want to come from a place of love, for my own survival and as a pathway, as a vehicle for shifting my own binary tendencies to believe that someone who voted for Trump is 100% bad and deserving of my hate. I refuse to give up my right to love wholeheartedly because other people don't or can't or won't. That means love them in a way that considers our shared humanity, love them for their being human, but not a blanket panacea that ignores the damage, that ignores behavior that harms other humans, animals, plants, all of it. Like you said, a love that goes deeper, that is for all things AND that also holds the darkness and the pain and the grieving we will be doing in the next few years.
There is no room for shallow peace - I love how you said that, because I think shallow peace is what's gotten us here. This inability to hold both love and darkness, the inability to really look at ourselves and what we do to others. I think that is the key to what is killing us right now. Our (and by our, I mostly mean people who voted for trump) desperate need to be comfortable and righteous and our belief that power-over somehow makes us powerful.
I am really not sure we'll ever get out of this downward spiral, but I also won't give up trying to be the light.
Thank you sharing your thoughts and for the kind words. I'm sending you love too, Rita. xo
Yes, Jocelyn, exactly how I feel, too: :I refuse to give up my right to love wholeheartedly because other people don't or can't or won't. That means love them in a way that considers our shared humanity, love them for their being human, but not a blanket panacea that ignores the damage, that ignores behavior that harms other humans, animals, plants, all of it."
Thoughtful comment, Rita. "A deeper, truer kind of love" indeed.
I love what you took from my words and added to them. I've been struggling to work out my thoughts. I don't expect to feel that I have landed in a solid place right away, but you've helped me walk a bit further down the path.
Yes, I feel the same way about your words. Walking down this path together to find some solid ground. That feels really nice, in a week where not a lot has felt good. Thank you, friend. ❤️
Thanks for your big heart, Jocelyn, and the bridges of your words. I am still at the “ flipping of houses with yard signs bigger than my car” stage.
Oh yes, well, it was only one encounter. I'm not over the bridge yet. And I don't see any signs in my neighborhood. The only ones here are for Harris/Waltz, which I think is interesting. Keep flipping off the houses with yard signs. I'm still right there with you. ❤️
Xoxo
Those signs are so obnoxious.
They truly are. We have huge banners here that span 5-10 feet of fence line out in ranch country just south of my house.
Ugh. I'm so thankful there's not much of that around me. Whenever I see those things, I feel my anxiety in my body.
Oh I do too. It makes me feel almost nauseous and like I just don't know what to do with all of this.
Thank you for your honesty and your heart. I hear you. I’ve been moving through similar emotions and am trying to center into ‘sacred rage’ to channel the whole nasty soup into art and love and community. 💙
Yes yes yes. Channeling the nasty soup into creation and love and community. That is really the only answer besides living inside rage and futility. Sigh. Sending you love.
To you too, Jocelyn. ❤️
Bridges made from eggs... yes, that feels about right. This was a mirror, and I thank you for it. I've been scapegoating a friend of mine who voted for Trump- one of those unexpected gut punches from a woman I thought shared my values. And I just keep raging at her in my head. But I'm realizing that I need to be able to feel all of that confusion and anger and betrayal and ALSO love her, all the broken pieces of her and all the contradictions.... I need to look her in the eye and see a fellow soul, no less worthy than anyone else. Sigh. This is freaking hard. ❤️🩹
oh this gave me chills, Kendall. What you're working on is so hard. It's one thing when it's a stranger, wholly another when it's a friend. It's so beautiful and a testament to your bravery and huge heart that you are even willing to try to love her and hold the betrayal and anger at the same time. I'm sending you and your heart so much love and mending. And this, this is beautiful, "I need to look her in the eye and see a fellow soul, no less worthy than anyone else." that's exactly it and it is so freaking hard. love love love to you my sweet friend.
Thank you, Jocelyn. ❤️ I think the enormity of the potential disasters is far, far too large for us to grasp, so we zero in on more immediate disappointments.... which I have so much grace for, but I just don't want to live with that acid in my belly. Thanks again for the great reminder here. xoxo
Kendall have you seen George Saunders’ last post? He holds Trump voters accountable - and he says it with love. What a skill. I’m trying to cultivate that.
Hi Monika! I have not seen it, but I'm heading there right now. Thank you! It really is an art, isn't it? 🙏✨️
Here it is!
“For those of you who voted for Trump, I’d just say, in the most loving way: Friends, you’re on the hook.
It's your movement now.
It's on us too, of course, on those of us who were and are against what he stands for – but you have a special role in whatever happens next. No excuses: he made it very clear what he intended, and you gave him a mandate to do it.
So, when and if the rounding up of undocumented immigrants begins, and it’s brutal, that’s on you. When and if he comes for those “enemies from within,” that’s on you. When and if people on the periphery (gay people, trans people) suffer, when the economy tanks, because tariffs are a terrible idea, when we jettison even our currently ineffective attempts to reverse climate change, when women’s reproductive healthcare continues to degrade…well, I’m sorry to say so, but you voted for all of that.
You did. “
https://open.substack.com/pub/georgesaunders/p/a-slightly-altered-course?r=z4g4i&utm_medium=ios
It's so well said. Really, I couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing- I just went and read the whe thing!
Beautiful Jocelyn, thank you. "The golden light is all of you" and it is you too! Light will slowly, eventually, overtake the darkness. "The only way we will survive this is by finding the small bridges that connect us and walking towards one another across them." You are 1000% right.
Thank you, Lisa. ❤️It hit me today and I wrote more on this, but didn't feel it was ready to share as a post, that what we need to do is sit together, physically. Rooms full of people across the US who voted differently from each other, and find the things we have in common. Like the exercise guides sometimes do at retreats where you all stand in a circle and the leader offers up an experience, and anyone who's had that experience steps into the center of the circle. It's an object lesson in shared experience and then it's harder to dehumanize each other. I can see this in my mind playing out in rooms all over the country as a solution to the divide that traditional and social media have created. A fearful population is so easy to control. Sigh. But how and who would ever make those rooms happen?
Rooms full of people... what a beautiful vision but like you said, how is the likely stumbling block. Besides, not sure there is an appetite for those on "the other side", at least not yet, at least not until the ramifications from the new administration are felt by them.
I think you're right. I think it will be a while before anyone is ready and I wonder how the ramifications will make it harder for those who are willing. It's just so amazing to me how we got here. Because it happened in a way that felt very out of my hands - not in a sitting on them way, but social media and our blind allegiance to it and the consumerism it drives and the corporate take over of media. It was so big and swift, I'm not sure how we could have held it back or done differently. I think it speaks to how fragile our time here really is.
“I mean loving humanity anyway”. With a week off of work for the holiday break I am finally having time to catch up on reading your pieces. This sentence really got me. Its simplicity and its depth of meaning. To love our human neighbors in spite of everything is simple yet powerful and makes me feel hope. Thank you. I love you 💕
I'm so glad you're here! And thank you for that. I am so happy to hear it made you feel hope. I think we all need to find the people who do that for us and get closer, open up and help each other feel love and hopefulness. xoxoxo
I felt exactly the same way. I walked the sidewalks in my town and couldn't look anyone in the eye. I felt unsafe. I felt unsafe in my own country, as if the enemy were everywhere. I've gone back and forth between separating the people from the "opinion' they have, and then feeling outright disgust for the pompous arrogance in anyone who could vote for pompous arrogance. But just like in the candidate they chose, the pompous arrogance (or , in some voters, just bewildered ignorance) is the signature of a frightened ego state. I can feel compassion for that.
In 2016 after the election which horrified me, I had two dreams about 'the elected one'. In both dreams, he was a member of my own family, a relative. When I woke up, I couldn't deny that the feeling about 'that person' was a fondness, not a hatred.
I have not wanted to get all pseudo-spiritual about this and feign an inauthentic love or forgiveness, so I have been very careful in my personal, deep exploration. My current status is one that feels at peace, at least for the moment. I am no longer fighting with the reality, and hence ,I no longer re-traumatize myself every time I read something about the intentions/choices of the upcoming administration. In one sense, I feel that all the dastardly, and heretofore shadowy and hidden, aspects of the US/world human population are now laid bare- out for all to see. No more denial. These aspects reflect a level of consciousness that human beings, as a whole, are being called out of. You can't heal what you won't feel.
Any one of us, by keeping our focus- our thoughts, behaviors, intentions- on a consciousness of truth, unity, compassion, and the kind of world we wish to create, can assist in the call. As I commit to this, the anger at the voters and the president-elect seems rather petty and useless. In the words of Jesus Christ 'father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
We have better things to think about and embody. We can offer ourselves to the rising , higher consciousness.
Oh Barbara, thank you for this. Your wisdom and words resonated so strongly and your call to action around keeping our focus on a consciousness of truth, unity, compassion and the world we wish to create. So much yes.
And this, "I am no longer fighting with the reality, and hence ,I no longer re-traumatize myself every time I read something" That's exactly it. I came to the same place of acceptance and not resistance.
And this, " feel that all the dastardly, and heretofore shadowy and hidden, aspects of the US/world human population are now laid bare- out for all to see. No more denial. " I was reading someone else's thoughts, I can't recall who right now, who said something similar. Like Americans have been in denial about how ugly it really is/can be. And I really do think, even though all of my spirit feels at odds with what's happening, that it has to happen. We have to see the darkness, it has to be fully present and out in the open for us to begin to accept that is is that dark, that humans contain so much grace and light and also so much dark. I think that's what we've been denying as a collective, that there is a darkness here and within humanity that we want to ignore.
I also love the dream you had. How powerful. I really do believe we are all light at our core, some of us are just on a journey of ego and consumption.
That's the journey here, as far as I can tell, to hold the idea that humans can be horrible and also beautiful and that everything is dying and being reborn over and over.
Those words from Jesus. yes yes yes. We need so much more compassion and forgiveness in this world.
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts. Your words really helped me this morning.
xoxox
you've helped me too . grateful to know we are never alone
“Because do you know who loses when I close my heart off, after nearly two decades of re-learning how to open it? Me. And the people I want to be open with.”
Oh Jocelyn, this is exactly it for me. The learning, the decades, the hard work. I feel devastated but determined to not lose all the progress I’ve made, to not slide back on the hard fought human rights gained on our continent.
Here in Canada, a trumpy Conservative is poised to win the election next year because he’s a vote for change, even though he’s campaigning on “Eff Trudeau” (our prime minister), anti-wokism, climate denial, quietly setting things up to threaten abortion, politicize our judiciary, etc., etc. It feels very trumpy circa 2016, and we know where that leads if it’s not stopped.
I love, love, LOVE the egg bridge 🥚🥚🥚 and feeling like a crushed can someone pressed with their thumb and middle finger, not an acorn run over by a truck tire. So original. So GOOD.
The fuck you part made me laugh. So honest and satisfying. Give yourself credit—saying it inside the truck with the windows rolled up was an act of kindness 😇
It’s so special to be quoted by you. Thank you, my beautiful writer friend, for sharing how “resist with love” moved you. It moved me, too, when I downloaded it from Love. It’s helping me so much. It’s helping me tip away from shaming, contempt, and hate. (Ok when I said “trumpy” back there it was a bit shaming, but also accurate, no? A little mini, petty trump.$
Thank you for attributing Rachel Maddow. Here’s where she talks about recognizing your rage and grievance while also being kind and decent: https://youtu.be/-PmlFq4_yek?si=ZlTERNetO-E_Hgih [starts at 55:00]. It’s worth watching. She educates us on how to stand up to authoritarianism. I bought the book On Tyranny after I watched it. An essential checklist for our times.
I still let the rage flow through me. There’s so much of it. But I’m doing it by moshing around my house, angry-crying and lip syncing songs like Feminomenon, which my stepdaughter recommended the night she came over for the election. And the fact that we turned to each other that night is a beautiful thing.
So much love to you, my friend ♥️♥️♥️
Sorry for the loooong wait on a response. I love love love that you and your daughter turned to each other. That right there. That is divine and sacred and you and she have built that and no government can take that away. I'm sorry to hear cananda has a mini trump. The pendulum seems to swing in ever bigger arcs of division on what's important on this planet. I'm really digging into trying to be kind and do what I can in my little corner of the world.
Thank you for the close read! I'm so glad you mentioned and can and the acorn. It felt new to me too and so I also wasn't sure about it. Thank you for shouting it out.
I got On Tyranny too and I'll read Rachel's article as well. Thank you for the link.
I'm in gorgeous northern california this week, and right now am staring out at the coastal range between the bay area and the coast. it's amazing and peaceful and just what I needed.
xoxoxo
It’s funny you mention the pendulum. My husband talks about this all the time. And yes to doing what we can in our corners!
You’ve read my mind, Jocelyn. The eloquent, elegant way you describe your thoughts absolutely reflects the way my mind is working right now. I’ve done so much soul searching and continue to do so and have tried to rid myself of the hate and resentment that have poisoned me. It’s still there but for a reason—do remind myself, that’s not me. I have the same lofty goals like—love everyone. That’s who we are friend, so I’m standing with you in love. Let’s lean into lofty goals.
Oh this made me cry. I am so lucky to have you in my life and be here on the page together with you and your heart. I like what you said about it being there for a reason and as the days keep marching on, I'm searching for the lesson, the meaning, the way forward that is even more grounded in love as resistance. community as resistance. art as resistance. I'm leaning with you, friend. 💜🙏
That is it exactly, Jocelyn. I’m really finding joy and healing through writing and reading the positivity and love I’m finding here.❤️
From the moment I saw your headline, I knew you were peeking into my own mind and heart, Jocelyn, and those of my friends who have reported the same thing. Suddenly we are in foreign territory, where other people, formerly a neighbor or store clerk or person walking down the street, could be one of those who voted against everything we hold dear and believe in. I get your anger and at the same time, like you, I am holding onto the tenderness of my heart and the knowledge that hate will get us nowhere--but compassion and empathy? Ah, that is the key to open every door to understanding and connection. Right now I am with you in wanting to keep that door closed (literally, I, too, couldn't bear to be out among "the people" in the immediate days after the election) but I know that if I don't open it, just as you so perfectly described it, the person who will be most hurt is myself.
This brought tears, Amy. It's so hard right now and you said it so well "Suddenly we are in foreign territory, where other people, formerly a neighbor or store clerk or person walking down the street, could be one of those who voted against everything we hold dear and believe in"
It's such a balance beam of stay open, be angry, open back up, feel the betrayal, open back up. it's exhausting. I got on my mat this morning and cried several times and just didn't want to do the practice. It's physically challenging and I'm tired. And it's also mentally challenging to keep returning my mind to my breath, to my body, to my soul. And so, I cried and felt how much I just didn't want to do all the things today and sat with myself and then moved through my practice and it felt good. It starts first with empathy for ourselves and what we are going through and then after that, we can tentatively go out our doors and try to extend it to others.
I love this line, "I am holding onto the tenderness of my heart and the knowledge that hate will get us nowhere." i have to remind myself of that over and over. But this especially, "the tenderness of my heart." that moves me. Thank you for bringing your tenderness here and sharing it. So much love to you.
Thank you Jocelyn, for being so honest and vulnerable and finding such a beautiful and true way to express these difficult emotions, and for all that you said here. I am glad you got on your mat. I think I need to do the same. At least get some minutes of walking in sunshine here in Florida if I can summon the energy. I have been suffering from a cold since election night and so it's a physical as well as emotional heaviness I am carrying.
This is so beautifully written. Thank you.
Thank you right back. It felt good to be writing even if I felt like I was not as on point or polished as usual, so it's good to know it resonated. xo
This is honest and beautiful. We must find a way to be grateful for times that force us to discover the nuance of words like love and the complexity of words like kindness. You are doing that discovery here. What a blessing to get to benefit from it as your reader. Thank you, Jocelyn!